HELP!!!

does anyone know that one BL where the mc is abused and neglected at home and he so he plays video game to cope. The top is this dude that kill people and they met on the game, the top was pretending to be a cute girl and lure the MC to kill him BUT he develops feelings so he hesitates. BUT! THE MC WANTS TO DIE….. the name was numbers that i CANNOT remember and i lost it ever since the great reset