"this is obviously bothering him so i shouldn't bring it up!"

yeah dude that makes sense LOL wtf if you think it's bothering him clear it up with him. you have more experience (even if it's the wrong kind, since it was obviously abusive) than him, talk to him about your kinks and what makes you feel good. negotiate your kinks. be honest.

and yeah they both need to be honest and talk it out, i'm just saying.