somebody convince me to keep reading before i drop ts

Spoilers



You'll learn about Seoin's background in season 2, that's why the title is great because you only understand the story later just like how backlights illuminate from behind. Seoin was adopted by a woman who lost one of her children, and Seoin looked a lot like her other son. From the start, Seoin's brother made him feel unwanted and told him that he was dirty because his birth parents were criminals. Nobody ever took Seoin's side even though they knew his brother was manipulative. His brother forced Seoin to participate in self-destrucrive activities like smoking or hanging around with the wrong crowd, he also made sure Seoin had no friends. Seoin wanted to get back at him using Yeongwoon because YW was a better athlete than his brother. While pretending to be YW's friend, Seoin actually fell in love with him and YW became his only support system. YW was abused by his own father and he thought Seoin liked his own brother because he saw them kissing, not knowing the brother blackmailed Seoin into doing it. YW was also beaten up by because of Seoin's brother but Seoin didn't know it and thought YW abandoned him. The weird sex club is a place Seoin's brother used to frequent. The brother committed suicide right in front of Seoin, and after that Seoin slowly started to imitate him unconsciously like how real life victims can sometimes act like their abusers. He knows he's disgusting but he believes his brother was right and he's dirty and doesn't deserve better.

So they are both abusive victims but they treat their trauma in different ways. Seoin was emotionally abused and now acts like his own abuser, because his identity was taken away from him (adopted by a woman who was chasing the ghost of her child, feeling dirty and unwanted because of his step brother), also his only support system YW disappeared without a word. He has abandonment issues. YW was physically abused, he was told he only has worth if he's the best. We see that he still reacts to same way in conflicts, he wants to ignore them and brush them off, he has no self-worth. Seoin's sexuality is deeply tied to his brother, and unfortunately he learned all the toxic things from him as well (they were not in a relationship but his brother isolated him from other people so most of Seoin's experiences are things he witnessed his brother doing)