so! ilic had a dream last night, but earlier that morning he learnt about sayan's actual will which is separate from all the ones he wrote when he was sick (burying ilic together with him, etc). then, he had the dream that he only found out about the will after sayan died. the dream is probably a mix of ilic's fear of losing sayan, his shock and feeling of betrayal that sayan would let him go (or not want him anymore) and his loneliness without sayan. before, he knows that sayan is obsessed with him and possessive of him and he perceives that as a snake, but knowing the will is like knowing a part of sayan he never knew before. sayan's obsession becomes love which is not based on delusion and control, so he is no longer represented as a snake and the dream appears very real. ilic is coming to terms with their feelings for each other esp sayan's feelings for him, and that is why he wanted to avoid sayan for a while. but still, he couldnt help but see sayan in sasha because of their physical resemblance and also because sayan has an unexpectedly pure side hidden in him but clearly seen in sasha. (while ilic sees sayan in sasha, sayan sees ilic in her - i believe the part where she cries reminds him of a younger ilic, sasha is like their love child! i think so anyway)
so! ilic had a dream last night, but earlier that morning he learnt about sayan's actual will which is separate from all the ones he wrote when he was sick (burying ilic together with him, etc). then, he had the dream that he only found out about the will after sayan died. the dream is probably a mix of ilic's fear of losing sayan, his shock and feeling of betrayal that sayan would let him go (or not want him anymore) and his loneliness without sayan. before, he knows that sayan is obsessed with him and possessive of him and he perceives that as a snake, but knowing the will is like knowing a part of sayan he never knew before. sayan's obsession becomes love which is not based on delusion and control, so he is no longer represented as a snake and the dream appears very real. ilic is coming to terms with their feelings for each other esp sayan's feelings for him, and that is why he wanted to avoid sayan for a while. but still, he couldnt help but see sayan in sasha because of their physical resemblance and also because sayan has an unexpectedly pure side hidden in him but clearly seen in sasha. (while ilic sees sayan in sasha, sayan sees ilic in her - i believe the part where she cries reminds him of a younger ilic, sasha is like their love child! i think so anyway)