Less BDSM and More Self Destruction Story

Thought i'd read this because there were so many people with totally different views on this. But honestly, not hot at all and I would say -- probably not BDSM either. There's people like this irl and it's actually really sad to see - they're not interested in actually having sex they're just self harming because they probably have a history of sexual abuse. they're eroticizing their pain + they think they deserve to be treated awfully.

I knew a girl who lived like this and wanted to get HIV and die.