It's sad that many, if not all, servants really believe that love from their gods means they should embrace violence. Rue keeps on asking for punishment, because he believes that true forgiveness comes through violence. He psychologically needs to suffer physically to believe that Nain has forgiven him. This is why he's even willing to become a Lesha, because he wants Nain to give him attention and forgiveness.
The way Nain sees forgiveness is to give mercy, and he did so by forgiving Rue and telling him to keep on pretending because Nain doesn't want Rue to be punished for not following orders. But Rue sees that as being dismissed and thus not forgiven, and Rue wants Nain to be angry and to forgive him the only way Rue understands. By becoming a Lesha, Rue is going up the hierarchy to become an even more devoted servant who is willing to die for his gods - one of the biggest forms of violence and thus the biggest show of loyalty.
Of course Nain won't agree or like it, especially because Amon can now use Rue as a way to punish or hurt Nain. And Nain won't be able to stop it, and Rue won't fight it either. They need to change the entire system, but these poor people are stuck in a loop of violence.
It's sad that many, if not all, servants really believe that love from their gods means they should embrace violence. Rue keeps on asking for punishment, because he believes that true forgiveness comes through violence. He psychologically needs to suffer physically to believe that Nain has forgiven him. This is why he's even willing to become a Lesha, because he wants Nain to give him attention and forgiveness.
The way Nain sees forgiveness is to give mercy, and he did so by forgiving Rue and telling him to keep on pretending because Nain doesn't want Rue to be punished for not following orders. But Rue sees that as being dismissed and thus not forgiven, and Rue wants Nain to be angry and to forgive him the only way Rue understands. By becoming a Lesha, Rue is going up the hierarchy to become an even more devoted servant who is willing to die for his gods - one of the biggest forms of violence and thus the biggest show of loyalty.
Of course Nain won't agree or like it, especially because Amon can now use Rue as a way to punish or hurt Nain. And Nain won't be able to stop it, and Rue won't fight it either. They need to change the entire system, but these poor people are stuck in a loop of violence.