Responses
Have you had the chance to see a therapist? Not trying to impose but it’s clear that the loss of your friendship has had great impact on your life
Yeah I saw a therapist in 2023 ...I went for around 10 weekly sessions but then I left therapy due to some personal reasons and also cuz it was fucking expensive lol ... my therapist asked me if I wanted to reconnect with my friends but my dumb ass who couldn't still crack entrance exam said I don't want to cuz my inferior self is really scared to face my friends who are in good engineering colleges ...
As someone who never got to chance to a closure , that shit fucking kills you. Tbh I was in highschool in 2020-2022 (peak covid pandemic era) and that made me realize how fragile my relationship with my friends were and how I was the only one holding onto them and they never really cared if I exist or not... Especially my closest friend , she stopped messaging me and it made me realize that it was always me trying... A broken friendship what could be bad about it ?? Everybody loses a friend or a two ... nothing so serious about that right ? But it destroyed my life , my perception about any sort of human relationship ... I have been depressed since 2020 and told her that but she just didn't pay attention at all... It's 2026 and I'm still suffering, I still see her in my dreams at night and in my dreams we are still 15 , sitting in the classroom next to each other...She moved on with life, she graduated from college and is happy with all her new friends and achievements in life while I'm so lost in life , and I still can't move on from when I was 15 , my time has stopped and I still stuck... it's been 6 years man , but the lack of proper closure , the regret and guilt, is still eating me alive... I really can relate with Kim Heejae on a personal level when he said all that remains is memories and regret...this made me cry so much...