wait i dont get it didnt sa yan die in side 18, so are the recent chapters just flashbacks...

lmao noooo it’s just a dream but sayan will probably die soon

Side 18 was a dream and likely before that, too ┗( T﹏T )┛

i havent read side 20 when i commented this and thats when i realised thank you for answering but now wdym he'll die SOON....

If I understood well. Old Illic had a dream from a time when Sayan was sick (that part actually happened) and then died (thats the dream). He dreamed of an alternate ending where Sayan wouldve died and he wouldve been lonely forced to realise he wasn't as happy as he thought he'd be to be 'free'. Then he got woken up by princess Sarah (i think thats her name) and started realising he didn't want Sayan to die and that if he had died during his sick time then Illic would never be able to tell him the things he did in chp 20 ("dont get sick") it's not a full on confession but given how Illic normally is Sayan must've realised that it meant that Illic secretly held him dear leading to him being aroused at the end of chp 20.
I'm not sure, honestly because I was confused until chp 20 . Tell me if I got anything wrong or assumed too much.

NOVEL SPOILER:
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Hey guys, in the novel Ilic actually does have a dream that Sayan will die, and even though he doesn't die in the novel itself, it is heavily implied that he will die later on because he is super sick. Also, Ilic never actually tells him that he "loves" him, as that was added in the webtoon. In fact, it is made pretty clear that even though Ilic understands they are a couple and cares for him, he doesn't love him the same way Sayan does, like true love. On Twitter, someone asked the author to please tell us if Ilic actually loves Sayan in the end and she said she would "leave it to our imagination," but that is what the novel implies, that he doesn't love him the way Sayan wants. Then in another tweet someone begged her to please just say he loves him and she literally said "no" xD, meaning she won't confirm it but it is understood that he doesn't love him. I was reading another forum discussing the ending of this novel and honestly everyone feels the exact same way xD In fact, if you go back and read this webtoon with that mindset, you'll realize it really is like that.
The story closes with Illic noting, "I kissed Sayan ALIVE in my arms." Sayan is severely sick, and Illic already had a premonition dream about his death. It serves as subtle foreshadowing that, despite this moment of intimacy, Sayan doesn't have much time left.

that guy is ill, well he looks ill

Thanks now I'm crying ( T ⌔T)و

can i ask where you’ve read it, granted it’s translated in english? i’ve been searching for actual years for the novel but never had any luck

I only have it in Spanish :( https://drive.google.com/file/d/1EDJYP_7un8FrAUyA_4IIMHLgdLcHZEE0/view?usp=drivesdk