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This isn’t about this specific story but like I’m so sick and tired of this narrative ...

Ashs Gun July 29, 2026 6:51 pm

This isn’t about this specific story but like I’m so sick and tired of this narrative that once they’ve had sex, they need to stick to those positions forever. Why is the top always so adamant on staying on top?? I get that some relationships work that way but all these authors keep teasing verse couples when in the end they never go through with it and resort to the same predictable nonsense again with the fixed dynamics like it gets kind of weird when the tops are so against the idea of bottoming as if it’s something shameful and impossible. But the bottoms in these stories are often willing to top as it’s not “degrading” for them to do it. Obviously preferences exist but when it happens over and over again it’s as if in this genre bottoming is something a “real top” should never do which is… really odd. Why can a bottom’s desire to top be ignored and dismissed while the top’s discomfort with bottoming has to be respected

Responses
    EdwardVamp July 29, 2026 7:48 pm

    Bcs real top wouldn't do it lmao Like you literally answered yourself

    Ashs Gun July 29, 2026 9:29 pm
    Bcs real top wouldn't do it lmao Like you literally answered yourself EdwardVamp

    I understand your point. In this case, the ML is proven to be an exclusive top, so by definition he wouldn’t bottom. I’m not questioning that, obviously that’s the case

    I also didn’t word my original argument correctly when I said “it’s as if a ‘real top’ can never bottom.” What I meant is that a lot of BL authors tend to write their tops as exclusive tops, and I find that odd because it’s so common. It feels like bottoming is something that would diminish their identity as a top, so it almost isn’t allowed yk? Whereas if the bottom tops someone, their identity isn’t challenged the same way at all

    My question was about the whole BL genre, why are the top/bottom roles treated as permanent identities and not sexual preferences? Why tease a different dynamic if the story will never head that way? I just don’t understand why it’s such a rigid rule. Ig in the end it’s just a matter of different tastes, I’m just really curious as to why. (not trying to argue btw you don’t need to reply)

    goldfinch July 29, 2026 11:01 pm
    I understand your point. In this case, the ML is proven to be an exclusive top, so by definition he wouldn’t bottom. I’m not questioning that, obviously that’s the case I also didn’t word my original a... Ashs Gun

    in the bl genre its dominated by asian artists and authors who don't necessarily have the same type of culture that we have in western culture. switching is basically a myth over there (at least in my experience), since there is still a lot of deep-rooted misogyny and toxic masculinity in the bl genre. honestly I'd love for more bl authors to dabble in switching but it probably won't happen for the near future

    slurpslurpslurp July 29, 2026 11:09 pm

    this is why i loveee bottoms who used to be tops before (seo an my goat)

    Ashs Gun July 29, 2026 11:37 pm
    in the bl genre its dominated by asian artists and authors who don't necessarily have the same type of culture that we have in western culture. switching is basically a myth over there (at least in my experienc... goldfinch

    You’re right, I agree it has to do with those, and also the expectations of the main audience that’s used to and prefers this content.

    With that said, I kind of feel like there’s a shift in the way tops and bottoms are written nowadays… I feel as though many authors are aware of this dynamic now and want to soften it by, for example, making the “top” younger and more vulnerable and emotional, letting “bottoms” be more assertive and dominant, and also stuff like almost-switching to show that a switch is a possibility even if it isn’t in the story, just to show that they are emotionally equal. But even with those changes they won’t ever challenge the actual roles because of the reasons you mentioned, it’s just part of the genre at this point. But I’m not sure about that, it’s just an observation. So although I wanted to disagree with the point that we shouldn’t get our hopes up switching, I don’t think I can..

    By the way, Dark Heaven is a great switch rec if you haven’t read it before :))

    slurpslurpslurp July 29, 2026 11:44 pm
    You’re right, I agree it has to do with those, and also the expectations of the main audience that’s used to and prefers this content.With that said, I kind of feel like there’s a shift in the way tops an... Ashs Gun

    DARK HEAVEN MENTIONEDD ITS ONE OF MY FAVS

    Ashs Gun July 29, 2026 11:52 pm
    this is why i loveee bottoms who used to be tops before (seo an my goat) slurpslurpslurp

    Yess I love seo-an too!! But a bottom who used to top doesn't really challenge the traditional dynamic since they're still a permanent bottom afterwards, that’s why there’s still some stories with that trope. I was more talking about why we’re so much more comfortable with that than with a top who sometimes bottoms or a couple that switches. I can’t even name a top that’s bottomed before