and i love you for the comment
I love your take on this so much! I agree and this is something that happens in real life—abusive people healing and victims living with the trauma. I think maybe Compton grew quite envious of the people moving on in his life when he couldn't. (I'm taking into perspective people irl that have faced this type of abuse) I've noticed this when he saw how happy Choi was talking with Nauen and recently with Creuger playing the piano on stage, and now seeing Garam not hate Heejae, but worse yet, love him—all these things seem to lead to him building resentment for not being able to find happiness after Heejae's abuse. Because "Why not me?", something like that, or "Why weren't you like this with me? If you could've been good this whole time, why now and not then?" I'd like to compare his feelings as to how an estranged father would be abusive to you but became good parent to his other family. As you've said, hurt people do hurt people. In Compton's case, he wants to save them from Heejae yet somehow still can't avoid seeking validation from him and that's a sad reality some other still live with :(
I wish I could like/thumbs up your statement as well, so I’ll respond instead lol. You said it better—PERIODT. The Professor is literally his piano daddy that he still thinks about even though he’s like: “I’m grown. I’m established. I’m a made-man” lol. I genuinely love the way how the author wrote the story to be. It’s realistic. No one is only good and perfect. Our villains/bad guys (both the Professor and Compton) are human too and deserve some love as well. I’m curious about how the story goes on because after this London arc….our 2 lovers have the Asia tour and Compton being the maestro. And since it’s Asia….I wonder if they make a pit stop in Korea and meet Garam’s family…there’s just so much more to unravel and unfold.
I’m genuinely a bit embarrassed for Compton. He doesn’t know that Garam’s performance was thanks to the Professor. It doesn’t make it better that both the Professor and Garam are both in on a private joke/roleplay that they are just “normal student-teacher.” At this point, I don’t think he’s in love with the Professor. I think it’s more of: “I still want your validation AND IK you the best out of everyone because I’m your OG student.” It’s genuinely sad that you can see him seek out the Professor for his opinions and validations. I also sympathize for him. I feel like everyone can relate to the feeling of wanting to be acknowledged by someone you deem respectable in your life even if they are someone who’s hurt you and basically ruined your mental well-being. I’d crash out if I was him. I could not imagine being in his shoes as a well-established professional and basically being chosen over a “newbie” whose known the Professor for 1/3 of the amount he has and overall technical experience.
I stand by my statement I’ve thought throughout the work—hurt people hurt people. You see it in the Professor and obviously, Compton’s action. Also—I had seen a comment regarding the dynamic of the Professor and Garam’s relationship, and I have to agree. Love is a commitment you make to yourself and to your partner. You’re in it for better and for worse. Garam obviously knows the Professor is a menace to him, himself, and to society lol. Went through it for 1+ years before they actually got together lol. But, after going through what he does….he still chooses to be with the Professor. I don’t agree with domestic violence or abusive relationships, but when you get into relationships with people who are hurt/damaged/atypical….your relationship dynamic will never be normal or like the stereotypical lovey ones. It’s different than “healthy to abusive.” It’s more like unhealthy to healthy? “I can fix them? (which sometimes does work out)” You go through problems that most people would not go through. There’s more on how I feel about getting into relationships with people who are “not normal,” but, overall, it’s just your relationship with that person is literally dependent on what you both have going on and it will time and patience for both to get a healthier relationship that works.
Anyways, love the work, the author, and Sage. It’s days like these that make me think that I should’ve just bit the bullet and go to school for psychology, philosophy, or sum that was less practical/serious.