I'm sorry if the writing is shitty and some parts don't make sense or unclear. I wrote that at 1am without and pauses and just writing based on memory and hopes and dreams. ANYWAY I'M NOT READY FOR STIGMATA TO END.... I've been reading the story for two years and I'm not ready to let go which is worse for me considering it's my all time favorite. Anyway that's all I'm just yapping just to yap :p
You don’t know me and I don’t know you but I love you for explaining Pavel so well ugh, and your writing is perfect!!
thank you!! I just really love him so much :D
Pavel is ultimately selfish for better or worse and I'm pretty sure he knows that himself. I'm not saying his selfishness is outright just terrible, but it is harmful because of its consequences. I see Pavel's selfishness split into two: his selfish desire of wanting to be with Sion and his selflessly selfish act of sacrificing himself for Sion and robbing Sion of making choices for himself of what he wants (like if he wanted Pavel to even die for him in the first place). Everything that had to do with the way that he is has definitely something to do with his upbringing plus his trauma of their first life. Not only does he see him killing himself as duty, it's also a sort of punishment for what had happened previously (because he failed and blames himself for it)—as if he's depriving himself of what he wants as punishment which ultimately what makes him a contradicting hypocrite which he literally got called out for by Ferhi. This isn't "his duty outweighs his love for Sion" exactly. His duty IS his love for Sion. He wouldn't be willing to be strictly commited to his duty had he not loved Sion that much. I love Pavel so much he's my favorite and he's so complex and greatly written <3