this is a CRAZY vent on the dudes mokyeong represents, it’s embarassing how long/angry it is.

bruh. this is my first time seeing the perspective pf those dudes who my friends got into a bad situationship w in college, and lowkey, checks out. it’s kinda crazy tho bc like fuck those guys, fr (and i still have a strange pity for them bc it’s genuinely so miserable how they inevitably end up when the final/multiple breakup(s) happens, how truly depressed they are NOT simply due to mental instability but also due to their unwillingness to fucking MOVE ON or to compromise in their personal relationships. like as self-inflicted and selfishly harmful they are, theyre so unhappy i feel bad that they truly dont know how to live or see life any other way up until then). but holy FUCK theyre actually the most burdensome dudes youll ever meet, bc in reality they have such self-destructuve mannerisms and it becomes to burden to all of their partners. they use their partners as an emotional pillar (aka: punching bag, bc they do not recognize that their partners are humans and not gods) while simultaneously idolizing their existence bc it provides value, depth, and therefore justification for their dehumanizing behavior and unwillingness to actually seek real emotional coping mechanisms. these men (and women, though in my experiences my friends all dated men) believe this level of instability and disturbance is just a sign of depth and deep individual insight, without recognizing that “complexity” does not equate to “realism” or “maturity.” these mfers think others are just too simple or emotionally shallow to get their relationship or personalities, and will therefore CONSTANTLY say it’s expected to trauma bond/dump on their partners in a way to justify any arguments or character misalignments, and that crossing boundaries is okay bc theyre both mature wirh “deep” and “complicated” understandings of each other that will overcome smth as shallow as boundaries or social conventions as to what’s healthy or toxic. theyre so fucking egotistical for thinking they themselves as well as the “uniqueness” of their deep relationship is above others’ understandings or smth as “normie” as healthy boundaries and emotional independence. these dudes always end up irreversibly crossing others’ boundaries and they ALWAYS think bc theyre so deep and special that it PROVES they are fated and destined for their partner, and will never realize how arrogant that is since theyve built their relationship on their personal insecurities. they think their insecurities and clear mental instability means they are incapable of arrogance or dominance in their relationship. it’s insane bc as much as you tell them this, they dont realise how heavy their expectations and how uncompromising and pushy and selfish they are when it comes to them. like even if they say theyll always love my friends and just want their happiness above all, that’s not fucking true bc if they did they wouldve let them go way before their relationship cracked, rather than taking all third-party warnings as advice from well-meaning individuals who don’t “get” how special their emotional intuition and complexity (that they mistaken as maturity) is. this dude takes all of their domestic arguments as things that might break a normie relationship but in a relationship with SUCHHH a damaged and flawed individual as himself, becomes smth casual and NOT smth that will acummulate to a dealbreaker for their partner, bc he thinks they’re above those conventions and boundaries that most people would stake their relationship standards on. but bc of their “insightful” and “damaged” soul and bc they truly think their love for my friend is deeper than the love anyone at their age could feel, they truly think they just want happiness for my friends, BUT THAT AINT TRUE BC IF SO THEN WHY CAN’T THEY SETTLE FOR FRIENDSHIP?? theyll use the argument that my friends also cant stay away or come back to them and therefore they emotionally need and understand each other, but BROTHER if you truly understood her then youd get that yall simply are NOT good for each other in this type of relationship, regardless of what you want. these dudes are possessive to a fault but they seem so outwardly down bad and submissive to my friends that they themselves think theyre the real victims of any final breakups. they dont realize their idolization of their partners is manipulative and dehumanizing in a way that provides a way for them to avoid blame for any hardships in their relationship. they think they ARE super empathetic and humane to their partners bc they themselves think that theyre SOOOO flawed and disturbed as a human being, that naturally they worship their partners who are kind and empathetic and treat them like a typical friend. which in turn, when my friends inevitably have to fucking cut ALL contact with them bc these fuckers can never settle for not being the most “special” to them even if not in the label of a boyfriend, they always feel so deeply betrayed bc these ppl who they felt truly understood how damaged they are and promised to love them regardless, really left them (when lowkey, my friends omly reslly fucking hated their guts bc these guys could NOT just treat them normally afterwards). they think my friends are “unwilling to put in the effort” to maintain their emotionally destructive dynamic, since deep down they think their partners have the “easier part” since all my friends have to do is just “let” them treat them like a god, while they take on all the insecurities as the flawed and emotionally disturbed human who’s doing all the work to become better for them.

anyways, mokyong’s the archetype of every rlly bad situationship partner my friends get into, since all those fuckers always have tragix backstories (bc a lot of them tend to be a product of a bad upbringing/childhood of bad decision making). like he’s the dude who’s actually quite likeable enough that as u thirdwheel him and ur friend, u truly befriend and feel genuine loss when u learn how toxic he is, and how they can NEVER even become friends w your friend again bc of how incapable they are of treating your friend like a normal homie bc they need smth to pin their entire self worth, value, and sense of comfort on someone. whixh is crazy bc theyre SO normal, funny, and a good friend to literally everyone else including yourself, that ot’s fucking crazy how they will literally throw it all away and use others just to get that person back. and you cant even be friends with him anymore bc even if youre impartial, he’ll never stop seeing you as an extension to your friend, that you become his only hope (and trauma trashcan) to him accessing your friend again, that he starts seeing you less of a friend and more as a place of emotional vent and comfort. and he takes this as trauma bonding and a way to say he values you and thinks yall are super close bc of how much you’ve witnessed between him and your friend, but youre just realizing that this is all your friendship will ever become from now bc even if he does get help or learn to cope or find someone else to obsess over, there’s no real substance maintaining your connection or identity to him, since his obsession has prevented him from even befriending you with any other purpose but seeing you as an outlet for his emotional fallout. and while u deep down pity or even currently like him in spite of him not even being ur main friend or someone youre close with, some things he’s done are so irredeemable that there’s absolutely no justice in him getting back together w ur friend, or with you befriending him.

and these fuckheads ALWAYS go down the crybaby route where he actually spirals into alcoholism and SH and drags ur friend down with him. and if not her, youre fucking next because youre the only source of connection he has left to your friend. and these dudes are always are suicidal bc they truly bet every last bit of humanity, worth, and self-potential in their ability to keep someone they worship in their life despite never actually caring about their needs to change their fucking ways bc they believe their emotional depth and complicated love is undeniable proof of their connection to your friend. their egos are fatter than their asses and they think their feelings are so valuable and deep that their partners will attribute them to the worth and uniqueness of their relationship, when in reality it absolutely dismisses their partners’ individual perspective, feelings, and fact that they got a life outside of this relationship (like REAL problems) and that feelings dont fucking feed a person.