PUT ZEN BACK IN THE DEN

#putzenbackintheden .Zhenya is a walking, breathing communist parade who looks like a high-fashion runway model but acts like a feral raccoon trapped in a dumpster behind a vodka distillery. The man does not need a boyfriend; he needs a dedicated team of psychiatric scientists and a heavily padded room to fix his complete lack of emotional maturity. His idea of flirting is literally kidnapping, extortion, and psychological warfare because the word "consent" is completely missing from his vocabulary and replaced with "vodka". He wears expensive, tailored suits just to hide the fact that his personality is more exhausting than a ten-mile run in danger forest. You think he is sophisticated until he smiles and you realize he is visualizing five different ways to dismantle a human body. But first lemme roast yall; Honestly, the only thing more unhinged than his boundary-blind chaos is the fact that you are crushing on a man who would throw you out of a moving helicopter without blinking.