I understand your POV lol and honestly i do not have any problem with anyone reading whatever they want to, granted they do not start simping or defending the actions of an abuser. But to answer why, i think the problem comes down to HOW it is potrayed. No one is saying abusive or disturbing elements are not the part of homosexual relationships. It is about how the author choose to depict it. And to be blunt, nowdays EVERY single new BL is strangely having these "elements" just the intensity differs. And we as readers are getting so used to those that we sweep it under the rug sometimes lol. Don't you think it is VERY strange that most of the times it is one of the leads ends up abusing other lead and they end up together EVERY SINGLE TIME?? What about healing? What about them choosing to get out of that abusive relationship? What about fighting for your rights? Isn't THAT how things in reality works instead of whatever is shown in these stories? As a psychology researcher i understand that sometimes it is difficult to get out of abusive relationship too i really do... but how many stories till we get to these leads fighting back and not staying down? Isn't this promoting stereotypes that homosexual relationships are abusive? And who told you no one in straight stories raise this issue? The double standards is that fujoshis mostly go up in arms whenever it is a women who is getting abused (most of them don't even read anything other than yaoi but ig most of them are feminists at the very least) BUT strangely close their eyes when it is about homosexual relationships in media or real life.
I understand your pov too, and I agree that HOW abuse is portrayed can absolutely be criticized. where I disagree with you is that these stories need to end with the victim healing, fighting back, or leaving. Not every queer story needs a healthy or happy ending, just like how many heterosexual stories don't. This is fiction, characters are allowed to make horrible choices we know is bad for them, stay in toxic relationships, or never get the ending we'd want for a real person, these are things real people go through, many victims don't get a happy ending in real life. And I never said nobody criticizes abuse in straight media. I read all genres, not just BL (im not a fujoshi lol), and I'm talking about a double standard I've personally seen firsthand, criticizing how a story handles abuse is completely valid, but assuming a queer story depicting abuse is automatically fetishizing or normalizing it is what I disagree with. A lot of these readers who leave hate also seem to have this image/idea of the “perfect victim,” where a victim has to react to abuse in the “right” way, or they will lose all sympathy. The second a victim makes choices they personally dislike (stays, goes back, or doesn’t fight back) they attack the story and its audience, but real victims don’t always act the way we think they should. Fiction shouldn’t have to portray that either. (thank you for the thoughtful response, i do enjoy having these meaningful conversations!)
Heyyyy same here lol me too enjoy every kind of genre and i get you it gets irritating at some point of time that people just won't leave a story alone and bombard the comment section with hate even when it is well established that the story involves stuff they do not like to watch... like either keep the mind open and read the full story and give a good, sane analysis or just leave the story alone if you cannot see through it. For normalization part, the thing is research supports the fact that getting exposed to certain things over time does promote it, be it fiction or whatever. I have done my research on such topic and results were consistent throughout mine and every other research i read along the way lol, it's a passive process so we don't even get to know when it happens lol.. but i know what are you talking about. It seems that internet has collectively decided to label people who enjoy reading BL as fetishizers of some sort. It honestly gives the vibe of people who think they how to detect AI in someone's art or something, i understand the emotion behind it but it is just witch hunt atp. For the victim part that is also very true, i agree on that. There is not set way or guidelines on how a victim should behave. A victim is a victim. The problem i have is with writers involving Stockholm syndrome, IPV etc and showing it as if that what "love" looks like. And agree or not, consistent exposure to such stuff (be it queer romance or any other type of romance) will impart a deep impression on young minds... but that's just how i feel lol. Nvm have a good day. It was good talking to ya
I also think there's a weird double standard when queer characters are involved. ppl understand that a story showing a man abusing a woman can simply be showing abuse, but when the exact same story involves two men, suddenly the existence of that sexual violence is treated as proof that the entire work and its audience have a ‘gay rape fetish.’ ppl need to understand that queer fiction is allowed to depict ugly, abusive and disturbing relationships too. LGBT characters don't have to only exist in morally sanitized or "fluffy" stories