Also I doubt majority read most of that but I very much wish to talk about this with others so feel free to reply (●'◡'●)ﾉ
After looking at chapter 20, her art teacher probably had something to do with her current behavior. To me it looks like he told her she was special / stood out (what she wanted to hear) and then got attached, and maybe that's how he controlled her? Idk
I also believe she wants to be percieved as special and intelligent since she was practically groomed by her art teacher about this (referring to when subin called her art teacher and met up with him). As a teenager, They want to be special and different from other people whether they are feared or admired for it.
I also believe that since she was groomed by her art teacher and was controlled in that entire relationship, my theory is that she feels threatened whenever she cant control a situation or in this case, how "weird and special" she is. When someone calls out how normal she is, she might have realized that the art teacher didnt go after her because she was "special" but because she was naive and bro wouldve went after any other normal girl.
If she cant control it, She totally freaks out. It might be a physical response from that art teacher. It feels like a threat since that what she mustve felt before too.
Her art teacher (Hyosin I think is his name) could definitely tell something was off with her. What you said about her realizing he only went after her because she was naive, and that he would've went for anyone else makes so much sense. After chapter twenty she literally cries in class because of the whole 'normal' thing. Even while getting her hair cut, shes like "Since I'm just an ordinary girl." I really wonder what happened between her and the art teacher in detail
Love this
i noticed that her art reflects her as a person. it's bizarre, it grabs attention, but it doesn't actually have substance for the people looking at it; nobody values it more than herself, and that's also how she evaluates her own perception. she convinces herself that her mind is extraordinary, but i don't think it's all arrogance. more like a coping mechanism. she'd rather believe that they "can't" understand her over the fact that they don't try to. it's a lot less lonely than to come into terms that nobody's there for her, that nobody's interested in her. outside of being a "weirdo", she doesn't actually have a sense of identity.
she always brings up being an artist whenever she brags about her "weirdness", i'm thinking this is because in the reality of art as a passion, you're bound to be nameless if you don't stand out. so to her, standing out by being bizarre = creative. she prioritized standing out for validation and have forgotten self expression in her art until there became no identity to express.
This is very well written!
Subin definitely has an issue with control / being in control. Even looking at past chapters, it's extremely clear to me.
I wanted to create a separate topic for this but Subin's behavior and whatnot is interesting to look at in my opinion.
She seemingly didn't act 'normal' before. In chapter 13, she gets noticed by her art teacher and her peers for drawing something seen as unusual. Because she's wearing a mask, it's hard to tell exactly what emotion she's feeling at the moment, and at the end of the flashback scene, to me it can either be interpreted as getting a thrill from the attention (which is probably what it was) or some sort of pressure / nervousness.
After the flashback scene, she says "She isn't that messed up, she just doesn't know how to read the room." (Referring to Subin) I mean, if you can't read the room, why not control it? And to control the room, you need attention, whether positive or negative.
In chapter 11, when looking at the flashbacks, it's clear that Subin used to be straightforward and kinda blunt, which can be a way to control the situation even if not directly. When Subin notices Jaemin doesn't have a mask, she doesn't ask if he wants to get one, she simply says "Come here, let's go to the faculty office and ask for a mask." She just gets up and expects him to follow.
In chapter 15, after Dohye asks her the point of uploading the AI photo of Sarang on her story when Sarang doesn't even have Instar, Subin writes out a lengthy message trying to justify it, and afterwards, there's text saying "I just want to see if you'll do what I say."
I know it was pretty obvious that Subin was controlling but it really was there from the start. I also wonder if her relationship with her art teacher had anything to do with her sudden intentional crave for control. I mean, she was a minor and he was seemingly an adult when they started going out. Him being an adult means he likely had more control over her.
This manhwa is honestly great, too bad I'm not sure how to properly articulate majority of my ideas without running around in circles