That's the unique characteristic Taeui has compared to all other ukes, and I really like it.
Just think about it from the opposite perspective, if Taeui hadn't been so soft-spoken and had acted hot tempered toward Xinlu instead, We might have somehow felt sorry for Xinlu.
Ilay, xinlu, Neither of their initial motives to get Taeui was right, nor was there any real love at first. Later on, they both started liking Taeui. However, I am sure that romantic feelings for Taeui developed in Xinlu first.Technically Ilay snatched him away. But as you know, xinlu and tae were never meant for each other, which is why Taeui ended up with Ilay.
Xinlu is young and unaware of his true feelings. He likes Taeui, sure, but not in the way Taeui wants.Taeui doesn't want to hurt Xinlu. He knows Ilay is extremely dangerous and could easily kill Xinlu no matter which way. But yeah Xinlu doesn't realize this danger cause of his immaturity. Taeui could have scolded him or handled him with anger to make him understand, but he knows that would only increase Xinlu's possessiveness—and then Ilay might actually kill him. Taeui doesn't want that to happen.
Given his situation, Taeui chooses the options that ensure no one gets hurt. He wants to make Xinlu realize his true feelings for himself as well, which is why he asks in the lasr panel, "What you wanted already came true, hasn't it?" From what I realized, he considers every angle and tries to do what is best for everyone involved.
I hate how Tay is so gentle towards Xinlu every damn time, they way he caresses him, worries about him and thinks of him like "oh he's still so adorable", and so forgiving ughh, so annoying, like a pushover honestly, I hate this uke (I'm the jealous and possessive type), just be gentle with your man only, damnit!
And the way he rejects Xinlu omg, he always speaks with such gentleness, no wonder Xinlu still clings to him, I mean with an obsessive person if you no longer want them you need to reject them harshly otherwise they won't get it, but he's always so gentle ughh so irritating
(I love the seme XD, he's the only one that keeps me here)