I think it's like, you watched a movie from a long time ago, you remember some bits and pieces but they aren't really whole and vivid, maybe just images. So like ig it means she can't recall them individually anymore anytime, and all she has left of her past lives are her memory of them in her 19th life. Or maybe another perspective is she used to be in the memory but now she just remembers the memory from a 3rd person POV cause she isn't them anymore

This was so sooo good !! 10/10 WOW
But I dont understand how she could still remember juwon and her past with him when she forgot all her past live ?? Little plot mistake here lol but thats okay !! What a good read