The problem is that whenever authors try to write a relationship between a playboy and a virgin, they always make them end up together. If you look at experienced MCs who have been sexually active or had relationships before, they usually understand that the first person they meet isn’t automatically going to be their forever person. They know relationships can end, and they can move on.
But the second the MC is a virgin, authors suddenly remove that entire possibility. The playboy ML can have dozens or even hundreds of past partners, and somehow that’s fine because “he never loved any of them.” Yet the MC is never allowed to have another option. They never genuinely explore the possibility of him choosing someone else besides the ML.
And the hypocrisy gets even worse after the MC loses his virginity. It’s like the author suddenly thinks, “Well, I already used his virginity as part of the romance, so now he can’t be with anyone else.” The ML can sleep around because he’s the certified playboy, but if the MC—who is supposedly capable of making his own choices—shows interest in someone else, suddenly it’s treated like betrayal and the ML gets to feel humiliated.
Why is the playboy allowed to have a sexual and romantic history, while the virgin character’s entire future gets restricted to the first person he ever slept with? That’s not a realistic exploration of relationships. It’s just the author forcing the virgin character into being permanently attached to the ML.
I agree with you, like there is lot of heteronormative going here, like even with I mean there is experienced uke but they look feminine and fragile like doll , but they can make an manly guy looked experienced as they would immediately make them top in sex wise as why can’t there be an bottom and manly guy being experienced like what is wrong with it though, I mean for sure there won’t be change in it even though I kid myself to believe in an change though, but I know there won’t be as there will be change and at same time there will be some cliche or stereotypical heteronormative element added here wise. As I don’t expect anything in bl dramas or even yaoi manhwa nowadays and then also cause mostly I read than watch but day by day it’s decreasing due to making same thing with art style change only but no use .
I can literally name dozens of manhwas with the exact same premise as this one and Behind the Stage. And honestly, the storyline barely makes sense in the first place. It’s always the same setup: a playboy ML who sleeps around, an inexperienced virgin MC who somehow falls in love with him, and then the story acts like they’re destined to be together. There’s barely any creativity left in this trope.
If I were writing a story about a virgin and a playboy, I’d still try to make the relationship feel like an actual human relationship. Fiction doesn’t mean you suddenly stop applying basic human behavior. We’re not writing about some alien species with completely different relationship dynamics.
If the MC is a 21–23-year-old adult, I’m not going to convince myself that he has absolutely no idea what relationships or casual sex are. Even without personal experience, people have enough access to information nowadays to understand that someone who constantly sleeps around probably isn’t looking for commitment. If you want something casual, you look for something casual. If you want a hookup, you look for a hookup. If you want an actual relationship, you look for someone who wants the same thing. You don’t randomly walk into a BDSM club looking for casual sex and then act shocked when you don’t immediately find your inexperienced soulmate there. Sure, chance can make anything happen, but the author has to actually build that connection instead of treating it like destiny.
And this trope honestly mirrors the same double standard we see in real life: men are often praised for being sexually experienced, while women are expected to be virgins and somehow “special.” Yaoi does the exact same thing with its bottoms. The playboy ML can have a huge sexual history and it’s treated as normal, but the inexperienced MC is expected to have absolutely no life or romantic options outside of him.
Like, you cannot convince me that an inexperienced gay adult in the modern world has zero other ways to meet people who are also looking to explore relationships. There are dating apps, communities, friends, social circles, everything. Yet somehow the MC always ends up meeting one specific playboy who only wanted something casual—and then magically falls in love with him.
Wow. What a coincidence.
Somehow it makes me feel sometimes they are using yaoi to dismantle or disregard men most of the times, like being straightaway misdranist and making them feel inferior as this always questions the view I have on gender equality as I believe in gender inequality it is always not equality or equity even though, as I won’t go into feminism at all as I am not interested to speak in that, so my point is just making them as who doesn’t know anything or how it works like straightaway portraying them as clueless or dumb as it’s some bad or wrong word like, as it’s actually being made fun of than actually helping them feel it’s normal not to know the things at all, but anyways it stays the same proving to the point as yaoi will use the same elements of things and being same whatever they do let them do it as even if I oppose it, it doesn’t matter at all as that is why I ignore lots of bl dramas and manhwa to read at all from looking at the plot or poster sometimes give me an idea and sometimes it wrongs me though but most cases it’s same as it is though. I have no wonders on seeing it will improve later on though.
No, actually, what you're talking about is similar because, if you look at it from the perspective of the writers, most of these stories are written by Korean authors. I've talked to people about this in the comments, and one person from Korea said that many female authors are actually reflecting themselves through these stories rather than representing the gay or queer community. They take whatever they experience in their own society, such as oppression or societal expectations, and project themselves onto male characters, essentially creating a male version of themselves and treating those characters as an extension of themselves.
You can often see this reflected in the way these stories handle certain situations. The same tropes and dynamics keep getting repeated without really evolving, even though we're in 2026. I've also heard people say that some women enjoy seeing men cry or suffer, and I don't know how accurate that is as a generalization, but you can definitely find comments from people expressing that preference.
That's why I sometimes wonder if this is also part of the reason some authors take things to such an extreme level, especially when it comes to punishing or torturing their uke/bottom characters even when they haven't done anything to deserve it. The characters are put through incredibly harsh situations, and sometimes it feels like the author doesn't have much empathy for them. So, in some cases, I can understand why people interpret it as the author projecting her own experiences, fantasies, or emotions onto these characters rather than trying to represent actual queer experiences.
The part on the uke being inexperienced like it’s something bad, I mean I know there is lot of insecurity and feeling odd out just because you are inexperienced in relationship at this certain age you are, but the point is that relationship and life is basically an trial and error method, there is also something wrong or right happens, as it’s not up to our hands at all, I mean there should be change outlook on it, in my perception I would say uke trying to sex with someone else than seme here as it’s better than have keep being bullshited on you being virgin for certain age you are.
This is not making ml jealous at all, as I hate the idea of making the partners jealous by seen or touched by some other people or mc did it wise as it’s ok to explore and experiment to understand the scenario and environment well, as most bl drama have this certain stigma on the top aka seme having experience in relationship and bottom is inexperienced dork like its equivalent to straight romance though, I don’t know why you have to mix by heteronormativity in yaoi genre as there is an internalised homophobia in this space which I realised long time ago though, but I truly hope there brings an change in it.