For Heejae, apologizing and saying “I love you” are psychologically not small things at all. There are a few things going on here. Saying sorry means admitting that he was wrong, and I think Heejae sees that as lowering himself or admitting weakness. Saying “I love you” means making himself vulnerable. As long as he shows his feelings through his actions, he can still keep some control. But saying it out loud means he’s no longer hiding behind his actions, and he’s giving the other person the power to hurt him. He genuinely seems to think his actions are enough. His mindset is probably, “I wrote music for him, I stayed by his side, I did all these things, so obviously I love him. Why do I need to say it?” He doesn’t seem to understand that love isn’t just about what you mean—it’s also about how the other person receives it. For Garam, hearing “I love you” and “I’m sorry I hurt you” is part of feeling emotionally secure. Heejae focuses more on what he intended than on how his actions actually made Garam feel. And I think his insistence on not saying these things is probably part of that same old defense mechanism. If he finally lets that wall down, he’ll have to face his feelings, his mistakes, and the damage he’s caused other people.
For Heejae, apologizing and saying “I love you” are psychologically not small things at all.
There are a few things going on here. Saying sorry means admitting that he was wrong, and I think Heejae sees that as lowering himself or admitting weakness. Saying “I love you” means making himself vulnerable. As long as he shows his feelings through his actions, he can still keep some control. But saying it out loud means he’s no longer hiding behind his actions, and he’s giving the other person the power to hurt him.
He genuinely seems to think his actions are enough. His mindset is probably, “I wrote music for him, I stayed by his side, I did all these things, so obviously I love him. Why do I need to say it?” He doesn’t seem to understand that love isn’t just about what you mean—it’s also about how the other person receives it. For Garam, hearing “I love you” and “I’m sorry I hurt you” is part of feeling emotionally secure. Heejae focuses more on what he intended than on how his actions actually made Garam feel.
And I think his insistence on not saying these things is probably part of that same old defense mechanism. If he finally lets that wall down, he’ll have to face his feelings, his mistakes, and the damage he’s caused other people.