as someone who's been in baekhee's place and had a similar relationship (friendship, rather) with someone similar to gyeom (though minus the sexual assault and rape, it was just as abusive despite us being in middle school)—this hits the right fucking spot and i don't think any other character will ever be able to encapsulate that feeling of helplessness knowing that there is this fixed hypothetical scenario playing loop in your head and despite that label of a 'what-if' over it, you can't deny that'll eventually become reality, because once, it was real, and the first time it happens, it'll come back twice. baekhee isn't fighting mere thoughts and simple nightmares, he's actively clashing with what he knows is inevitable and can't be stopped—its sent proof that it continues to live—violent evidence of what again could become his everyday life. he's surviving in every way he can because jesus christ—
nobody wants to be held at knife point for everyday of their life, waiting for a god to come and serve them a silver platter of all their answered prayers. there wont be a god holding their cross up over a little girl or boy's body shielding them from a fist that'll have them tumbling over or a kick sending them knocking to some other side of the room. there wont be a god to palm that child's cheek—perhaps one that'll guide their hands to clasp in prayer—because what else can a human do but worship under false hopes?
as someone who's been in baekhee's place and had a similar relationship (friendship, rather) with someone similar to gyeom (though minus the sexual assault and rape, it was just as abusive despite us being in middle school)—this hits the right fucking spot and i don't think any other character will ever be able to encapsulate that feeling of helplessness knowing that there is this fixed hypothetical scenario playing loop in your head and despite that label of a 'what-if' over it, you can't deny that'll eventually become reality, because once, it was real, and the first time it happens, it'll come back twice. baekhee isn't fighting mere thoughts and simple nightmares, he's actively clashing with what he knows is inevitable and can't be stopped—its sent proof that it continues to live—violent evidence of what again could become his everyday life. he's surviving in every way he can because jesus christ—
nobody wants to be held at knife point for everyday of their life, waiting for a god to come and serve them a silver platter of all their answered prayers. there wont be a god holding their cross up over a little girl or boy's body shielding them from a fist that'll have them tumbling over or a kick sending them knocking to some other side of the room. there wont be a god to palm that child's cheek—perhaps one that'll guide their hands to clasp in prayer—because what else can a human do but worship under false hopes?