I thought treating your children better is a common standard. I guess that is not the case for you.
First off all this is a historical setting where kids are left with nannies and caretakers even with the parents caring for them, secondly here they seem less "human" being the curse and allat of them "not feeling" so they are semi monster in a way, Astrid is tired of her husband because of this and she knows he loves her but he dosent know and wouldn't acknowledge it, her children is turning out the same way and no matter how much she tries to love them (her saving tan before he died) she is exhausted of her own family, after waking up from years long coma none of her family members asked "how she is" and instead talked about practical things, Astrid herself seems like a pretty selfish person and not ur typical "good" person, she has her flaws and her exhaustion and toleration of her family turned slowly into annoyance, I think it's pretty easy to see how she's acting this way if you set in mind she's NOT A GOOD PERSON!!!! Just because she's made to be nice to the fmc dosent mean she's a generally decent person, I'm not saying I support her I'm saying I could see where she's coming from
Tbh yall r not getting Astrid the Duchess I get where she comes from and it's not like she was supposed to be a "good" person in the first place so why compare her to YOUR standards?