is he i love with beom or not ? if yes than hyung just fam? how ? what so special abt beom...

That’s not how you measure love…by who treats you better or not.

english is not my first language thats the best way i could explain. could you explain to me why he choose beom ?

English is not my first language either, so I will try to explain it in the way I can…So, Hyung was truly just his family. And someone who was always very special to him. But not all special bonding has to be romantic. Like how I love my bestie platonically and still it’s not any less deep. That’s how he saw Hyung too, but then he started to notice Hyung’s feelings for him…he couldn’t reject him bcoz he was afraid to lose that warm home where he was staying beside the person that he had considered his own family. He slept with him bcoz he thought that’s how he can fill the void of both of their hearts - that’s his interpretation from his past experience. And Hyung nvr stopped him either. They argued and made up again. The mc was feeling this dilemma only bcoz he didn’t want to be alone again. As u can see, the mc has trauma from abandoned issues. Bcoz he always felt like there’s nothing in this world that he can call his own. Even to get the warm that Hyung gave him, he had to change himself and try to become the person that he wasn’t. He had to wear the facade of a bright happy guy…So why Beom? Bcoz Beom told him exactly those two things that he wanted to hear the most - is that Beom loves him for who he is…whether he acts like a bright kind person or act cold and selfish - Beom nvr cared, he liked him for however he was…and also Beom told him that he would nvr leave him and will “always” stay by his side no matter what…With Beom, he doesn’t need to pretend to be someone that he is not, he doesn’t need to deal with feelings that he doesn’t want, and he doesn’t feel like a burden…He feels “free”…The whole massage of this story was literally that - don’t change urself or feel the burden to change urself just to fit into someone else’s world…Right person will love you for who you are and you won’t ever feel the pressure of walking on eggshells with them….they will make you feel free not burdened. And so yes that’s exactly why he choosed Beom.