i just finished reading jinx for the 2nd time, and all i can say is that i misunderstood jaekyung so much. when i first read it, i genuinely thought there was no way jaekyung could ever be good for dan, even before the final chapters. but rereading it made me look at his character differently.
i think what i failed to understand the first time is that jaekyung is someone who has never really experienced love or learned how to have a healthy relationship with another person. he’s clearly struggled in his own way and spent so much of his life being emotionally isolated. because of that, he developed unhealthy ways of dealing with his emotions and intimacy, including using sex as a way to avoid vulnerability and keep people at a distance.
that doesn’t excuse the way he treated dan, though. understanding where his behavior comes from doesn’t mean that what he did was okay, and i still think dan deserved so much better than what jaekyung gave him for a long time. but i also think there’s a difference between excusing someone’s actions and understanding the reasons behind them. rereading the story helped me see jaekyung less as someone who was simply incapable of caring and more as someone who genuinely didn’t know how to love or be loved.
what matters to me is that he eventually started recognizing his feelings for dan and, more importantly, realizing that dan was someone he didn’t want to lose. seeing that shift made me reconsider a lot of my first impressions of him.
i had such a roller coaster of emotions while rereading jinx, but i’m honestly glad i gave it another chance because it completely changed the way i see jaekyung. i’m really looking forward to season 2, and i just hope we get to see more of his growth and, hopefully, a relationship where love and genuine care are finally at the center of it.
i just finished reading jinx for the 2nd time, and all i can say is that i misunderstood jaekyung so much. when i first read it, i genuinely thought there was no way jaekyung could ever be good for dan, even before the final chapters. but rereading it made me look at his character differently.
i think what i failed to understand the first time is that jaekyung is someone who has never really experienced love or learned how to have a healthy relationship with another person. he’s clearly struggled in his own way and spent so much of his life being emotionally isolated. because of that, he developed unhealthy ways of dealing with his emotions and intimacy, including using sex as a way to avoid vulnerability and keep people at a distance.
that doesn’t excuse the way he treated dan, though. understanding where his behavior comes from doesn’t mean that what he did was okay, and i still think dan deserved so much better than what jaekyung gave him for a long time. but i also think there’s a difference between excusing someone’s actions and understanding the reasons behind them. rereading the story helped me see jaekyung less as someone who was simply incapable of caring and more as someone who genuinely didn’t know how to love or be loved.
what matters to me is that he eventually started recognizing his feelings for dan and, more importantly, realizing that dan was someone he didn’t want to lose. seeing that shift made me reconsider a lot of my first impressions of him.
i had such a roller coaster of emotions while rereading jinx, but i’m honestly glad i gave it another chance because it completely changed the way i see jaekyung. i’m really looking forward to season 2, and i just hope we get to see more of his growth and, hopefully, a relationship where love and genuine care are finally at the center of it.