So, both of them don’t know how to love or to recieve love. Our scar boy had his parents and got a bit of it, but the rest was all abuse, negligence and bullying. I do believe he did go through brain injury bc of the hit-and-run. That would explain why he kinda "lost" his memories and why his paranoia worsened. But even if it wasn't all due to his injuries, even as an adult he continues to be mistreated and doesn't have much close connections( yes he had a "friend" but even if he wasn't as much as an asshole as bluey hair sees, he still always felt like he indeed had other intentions and interests in scar boy while maintaining a friendly demeanor[I do find it a bit suspicious that he never mentioned the other colleagues much, and instead always seemed to only either talk about the superior who would constantly bully and hit him or bluey hair boss]). So all of this contributes to solidifying his personality as a resilient but also a bit of a doormat[he withstands the violence but keeps the "if you can't do anything about it, at least keep still" or something] and tries to solve it all on his own but desperately wants to rely on someone ( it was bluey hair first, then he would rely a bit on "friendly" subordinate[ he always needed to take care of others in the orphanage house too, but still had to self sacrifice to keep even his basic stuff, like cellphone and alone time before meeting bluey hair]. Also the thing he likes to blame others when he himself did something and regretted it soon after, he wants someone to be there with him and help him to deal with the consequences, imo, but he also blames himself after he did throw a tantrum as a child and apparently soon after his parents got into the car accident and died, so as a child he met bluey and blamed him as soon as he could, but as he got older, in high school he seemed to try to just shoulder it all himself, until he burst and couldn't anymore, and bluey hair liked that because it reminded him of his mom and he "learned" that as love / sharing the burden/taking the unhappiness away ). This 2 contradictions were always part of who he is, but I do believe that with time and possibly the accident, he got worst at : 1-just taking it quietly, 2- keeping it to himself, 3- yearning and leaning on however shows him a bit of kindness(emotionally attaching himself to an alarming degree and ignoring but seeing any red flags of that person, which add to his chronic stress and distrust somehow). I am sad about it :( I wished his parents were still alive, or that his aunts weren't so calous and mean towards such a young grieving child, or that the orphanage house wasn't so manipulative and advantage taking of a young teenager who was getting bullied day in and out... Or that the school had helped perhaps, not ignored the progressively worsening of his treatment by his peers, either by directly hurting him or just being complacent to that.... I wished that his 1st friend could have lived together and worked together to make money and study together so they could go to college and build a life together :( maybe help each other out with their own trauma, and grow at their own time, living each day with its difficulties(lack of money, work stress, daily mundane things) and be each other support and family. Make new friends along the way and build a community idk..... But, bluey never had a chance :/ even if scar boy had more luck and opportunities to be a little more healthy and grow happily, bluey was, since his birth, resented and mistreated by his own mom, who either chocked him or ignored him, or just neglected him(as shown in the playground and the other mom's reminiscing about her just staring blankly and ignoring her child calling her) that already would make him to have emotional stunned growth, but it did not get any better or stayed the same. He got kidnapped basically and put in a basement for years, with his only social connections being beaten up by his unstable older brother, taught by a guy who either beat him into learning or just ignoring the child when he did comply to learning to write, that was it. Until not content with beating his own little (yes from a different mother) brother, he put him in a suitcase and left him in a bathroom near the playground of the neighborhood he grew up in. There he just spent his days not knowing the basics of human interaction and having to fend for food and shelter. He met a boy who was already being bullied but still stood up for him, and that one and only display of affection towards him made him spiral into a hell deep obsession and made it his life purpose to "take away the unhappiness of that scar boy " and to live together and make him happy. But he was captured again and sent back to the room. He met his progenitor and received more abuse(physical and mental, and kept being compared and put up against his brother[who kept beating him and tormenting him but also relying on him to feel any shred of affection]). He finally went to school at his late teenage years and kept looking for scar boy, putting himself in harmsway on purpose. He finally met him, didn't know shit of social interactions, what's normal, how to deal with his or other feelings and just kept living with harassment of himself and others as if it was the most natural and expected thing, and was taught that violence should be met with more violence, that was the way to deal with any "problems". He somehow managed to live with scar boy, and made deals with his fucked up rich and powerful "family" and managed to kill the school bullies, but scar boy who was already not all OK mentally and physically just got more and more unstable and tried to keep life going, working and studying and teaching bluey to "function" (functioning disfunctional individuals! Hell yeah to all my mentally divergent and unstable people reading this :) it doesn't mean we are evil or doing stuff on purpose, we just wired different or don't know how to adapt to the "normal" and expected things everyone else seems to follow!) Anyways, I just wished blue's mom had help :/ that she took care of her own problems and didn't involve that "family" of his progenitor, she could have put him up for adoption and he still would have scars and development problems but not as severe!!!! I wish he went to school since he was young and that he could have had at least 1 trusted adult to take care and teach him how to love and live :( that he could met that scar boy and be disfunctional together but in better conditions and with tools to heal separately and together. Yeah, I love this story but I just wish I could be that adult to disfunctional kids... I plan to adopt one day, when I am more established and mentally more autonomous( rn personally college difficulties are wrecking me beyond what's considered normal :( and I feel very depressed and unfit/not responsible or worthy, but I do therapy, I take my prescribed meds, I don't do any other substances and I try to eat and sleep well, I hope one day I will learn how to take better care of myself and others and then, only then I wanna adopt ^^) Well, that was a lot of words and sentences, paragraphs even. Hope that everyone has a wonderful week and see all when a new chapter drops! I will cry more for sure!!!
So, both of them don’t know how to love or to recieve love. Our scar boy had his parents and got a bit of it, but the rest was all abuse, negligence and bullying. I do believe he did go through brain injury bc of the hit-and-run. That would explain why he kinda "lost" his memories and why his paranoia worsened. But even if it wasn't all due to his injuries, even as an adult he continues to be mistreated and doesn't have much close connections( yes he had a "friend" but even if he wasn't as much as an asshole as bluey hair sees, he still always felt like he indeed had other intentions and interests in scar boy while maintaining a friendly demeanor[I do find it a bit suspicious that he never mentioned the other colleagues much, and instead always seemed to only either talk about the superior who would constantly bully and hit him or bluey hair boss]). So all of this contributes to solidifying his personality as a resilient but also a bit of a doormat[he withstands the violence but keeps the "if you can't do anything about it, at least keep still" or something] and tries to solve it all on his own but desperately wants to rely on someone ( it was bluey hair first, then he would rely a bit on "friendly" subordinate[ he always needed to take care of others in the orphanage house too, but still had to self sacrifice to keep even his basic stuff, like cellphone and alone time before meeting bluey hair]. Also the thing he likes to blame others when he himself did something and regretted it soon after, he wants someone to be there with him and help him to deal with the consequences, imo, but he also blames himself after he did throw a tantrum as a child and apparently soon after his parents got into the car accident and died, so as a child he met bluey and blamed him as soon as he could, but as he got older, in high school he seemed to try to just shoulder it all himself, until he burst and couldn't anymore, and bluey hair liked that because it reminded him of his mom and he "learned" that as love / sharing the burden/taking the unhappiness away ). This 2 contradictions were always part of who he is, but I do believe that with time and possibly the accident, he got worst at : 1-just taking it quietly, 2- keeping it to himself, 3- yearning and leaning on however shows him a bit of kindness(emotionally attaching himself to an alarming degree and ignoring but seeing any red flags of that person, which add to his chronic stress and distrust somehow). I am sad about it :( I wished his parents were still alive, or that his aunts weren't so calous and mean towards such a young grieving child, or that the orphanage house wasn't so manipulative and advantage taking of a young teenager who was getting bullied day in and out... Or that the school had helped perhaps, not ignored the progressively worsening of his treatment by his peers, either by directly hurting him or just being complacent to that.... I wished that his 1st friend could have lived together and worked together to make money and study together so they could go to college and build a life together :( maybe help each other out with their own trauma, and grow at their own time, living each day with its difficulties(lack of money, work stress, daily mundane things) and be each other support and family. Make new friends along the way and build a community idk.....
But, bluey never had a chance :/ even if scar boy had more luck and opportunities to be a little more healthy and grow happily, bluey was, since his birth, resented and mistreated by his own mom, who either chocked him or ignored him, or just neglected him(as shown in the playground and the other mom's reminiscing about her just staring blankly and ignoring her child calling her) that already would make him to have emotional stunned growth, but it did not get any better or stayed the same. He got kidnapped basically and put in a basement for years, with his only social connections being beaten up by his unstable older brother, taught by a guy who either beat him into learning or just ignoring the child when he did comply to learning to write, that was it. Until not content with beating his own little (yes from a different mother) brother, he put him in a suitcase and left him in a bathroom near the playground of the neighborhood he grew up in. There he just spent his days not knowing the basics of human interaction and having to fend for food and shelter. He met a boy who was already being bullied but still stood up for him, and that one and only display of affection towards him made him spiral into a hell deep obsession and made it his life purpose to "take away the unhappiness of that scar boy " and to live together and make him happy. But he was captured again and sent back to the room. He met his progenitor and received more abuse(physical and mental, and kept being compared and put up against his brother[who kept beating him and tormenting him but also relying on him to feel any shred of affection]). He finally went to school at his late teenage years and kept looking for scar boy, putting himself in harmsway on purpose. He finally met him, didn't know shit of social interactions, what's normal, how to deal with his or other feelings and just kept living with harassment of himself and others as if it was the most natural and expected thing, and was taught that violence should be met with more violence, that was the way to deal with any "problems". He somehow managed to live with scar boy, and made deals with his fucked up rich and powerful "family" and managed to kill the school bullies, but scar boy who was already not all OK mentally and physically just got more and more unstable and tried to keep life going, working and studying and teaching bluey to "function" (functioning disfunctional individuals! Hell yeah to all my mentally divergent and unstable people reading this :) it doesn't mean we are evil or doing stuff on purpose, we just wired different or don't know how to adapt to the "normal" and expected things everyone else seems to follow!)
Anyways, I just wished blue's mom had help :/ that she took care of her own problems and didn't involve that "family" of his progenitor, she could have put him up for adoption and he still would have scars and development problems but not as severe!!!! I wish he went to school since he was young and that he could have had at least 1 trusted adult to take care and teach him how to love and live :( that he could met that scar boy and be disfunctional together but in better conditions and with tools to heal separately and together. Yeah, I love this story but I just wish I could be that adult to disfunctional kids... I plan to adopt one day, when I am more established and mentally more autonomous( rn personally college difficulties are wrecking me beyond what's considered normal :( and I feel very depressed and unfit/not responsible or worthy, but I do therapy, I take my prescribed meds, I don't do any other substances and I try to eat and sleep well, I hope one day I will learn how to take better care of myself and others and then, only then I wanna adopt ^^)
Well, that was a lot of words and sentences, paragraphs even. Hope that everyone has a wonderful week and see all when a new chapter drops! I will cry more for sure!!!