There isnt any manga/manhwa related stuff, I just want to get things off my heart. 2 months ago it was my grandpa 1st anniversary after he passed away from cancer and I finally felt some sort of relief, I could go on with my life still remembering him without crying every single time he popped in my mind. But today my aunty passed away. She was sick to the same cancer my grandpa had but she had it even worse. She's got many tumors, even in her head but she was constantly getting every treatment she could so I thought she would be fine in the end. But today In the morning I found out about my aunt and that she died. And I couldn't even cry for her too long because In 20mins i had to leave for my work. And today I was about to sign the contract, so I couldnt not go. I was crying every time I was alone at work or when I was walking the street. Now I don't know how to feel. I just felt better and now im again feeling anxious all the time and just wrong. I miss the feeling when I didn't have to worry about my family members health or when just everything is okay. Now I feel like my family is falling apart and I can't do anything, because my grandpa and aunty are dead. without them nothing is the same. im also really mad cuz I won't see my aunty ever again, I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye to her. I don't even remember the last time I saw her, the exact date and what we talked about. I cant help but fear death, and what if another member of my family is going to get sick. Just thinking about someone else dying is making me want to puke. I don't know how to handle that and what to do.
There isnt any manga/manhwa related stuff, I just want to get things off my heart.
2 months ago it was my grandpa 1st anniversary after he passed away from cancer and I finally felt some sort of relief, I could go on with my life still remembering him without crying every single time he popped in my mind. But today my aunty passed away. She was sick to the same cancer my grandpa had but she had it even worse. She's got many tumors, even in her head but she was constantly getting every treatment she could so I thought she would be fine in the end. But today In the morning I found out about my aunt and that she died. And I couldn't even cry for her too long because In 20mins i had to leave for my work. And today I was about to sign the contract, so I couldnt not go. I was crying every time I was alone at work or when I was walking the street. Now I don't know how to feel. I just felt better and now im again feeling anxious all the time and just wrong. I miss the feeling when I didn't have to worry about my family members health or when just everything is okay. Now I feel like my family is falling apart and I can't do anything, because my grandpa and aunty are dead. without them nothing is the same. im also really mad cuz I won't see my aunty ever again, I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye to her. I don't even remember the last time I saw her, the exact date and what we talked about. I cant help but fear death, and what if another member of my family is going to get sick. Just thinking about someone else dying is making me want to puke. I don't know how to handle that and what to do.