so this chapter didnt have much dialogue which is GREAT for me cuz i dont have to translate all ts. so its a pretty art heavy chapter so you all will have many many panels to look at.
we begin w xin sitting in the back of the car, presumably being transported back to the annex. (yes hes doing his L cosplay again: https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098443/)
he says "the coin, i should have brought it instead of putting it in."
as its falling we get these words "if, i had made a different choice back then would something have changed? if i hadn't left school and returned to the annex back then. if only i hadn't tried to cover up for lau with lies back then. what if, what if..."
he says "its okay aitan. you dont have to worry about me" (note this line gave me a headache to translate because google translate INSISTS on calling aitan, "ethan" instead, so i was left scratching my head for a solid minute wondering who tf ethan is).
xin says "watching my brother scatter and disappear into the wind, when i thought i was completely alone" he has a RESENTFUL ass look when he says this. https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098487/#image
im gonna be real idk wtf most of this chapter meant. i dont have the brain capacity for this. ig xin thinks hes left all on his own, then he sees his "brother" try to commit suicide and vanish, and he feels rly bitter abt that?? tbh i cant rly tell what he thinks abt it but he seems very very resentful about something regarding that. possibly being that even when he's all alone he still has to be tormented by the people who already left him, leavin him again.
as for what the kid xin and lau interaction means. idfk. younger xin calls adult xin a fool, if i had to guess, for being so resentful over his own imagination? because even if xin has these horrid scenarios created by his head, he can still have the good memories of being with lau or something?? xin already said this at some point unless im misremembering but he knows that the time he spent with lau when he was younger was the best time of his whole life.
but also, now we know that xin is fully suicidal. so the theory that hes intending to use the tattoo ritual as a way to commit suicide is not far fetched at all now. and it also explains why the season 3 cover shows him deadass praying to the pearly white gates. xin dont die plz...
im ngl this feels like a final chapter to the whole xin flashback arc, but idk. ive said that for nearly every one of the last few chapters LOL. but i think we are still missing that final resolution as for what xin actually decides to do. his character has definitely matured over the past few chapters. so far i would say season 3 is xin, having left lau alone, is slowly mentally breaking down and realizing that he is completely alone. he now knows lian doesn't actually like him much. the head family won't listen to shit all he'll say. the only thing left to remind him of lau (the wolf videogame) is broken.
and he feels like he's losing even more control of his life than he already has. not only is he constantly being watched by the head family, but someone is following him around the annex. i think(?) the story said its actually lian, but ngl i want it to be multiple ppl lol. also if it was just lian it wouldn't explain the first time xin heard the footsteps, which were in the completely opposite direction from lian, who wasnt even inside the annex.
as a result of his mental deterioration, xin lwk became a worse and worse person, because he truly believes that he's the one suffering the most in this entire situation. that's why he mocked chen i think, cuz at least chen still had someone who loved him and looked out for him to the point of sacrifice, while xin doesnt have that. (lwk i think lau will make some big ass sacrifice for the series finale but maybe thats me snorting crack again).
because xin feels entirely powerless and alone, he continues to do nothing, even if as the heir he is supposed to do *something* and that something could save others. so far the only major good thing xin did this season has been literally indirectly saving mali and yajin's lives by having lian warn lau. lian emphasizes that xin is supposed to decide what to do about the whole killing off the other family lines thing, and also do the succession ritual (which im fairly certain would require lau to be there), but he hasnt done any of that. he loves lau, but because he's been hurt so much, he doesn't even see lau even if he desperately wants to, and *could* as evidenced by the phone scene last chapter.
hes been pushed to the point of suicidal ideation. his view of his brother is very interesting to me, because its almost contradictory every chapter lmao. last chapter he was completely resentful towards tan, for leaving him all alone, with no one to understand his sorrow. at the beginning of the season he idolized him, and believed he was right about the annex being a haven (ofc he was obviously lying to himself back then). but now xin is expressing that he knows that tan was deeply sorrowed and that he tried his best. idk if tan basically committing suicide is entirely accurate, considering he v much wanted to live at the end lmao, but i def get the sentiment. and now tan offering xin to do the same but ripping it away is a little confusing. i think xin's feelings about tan are most accurate this chapter, though im sure his other feelings towards him are true in a sense as well.
idk i think the only question is what path is xin going to go on.
CHAPTER 86 SUMMARY/SPOILERS
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so this chapter didnt have much dialogue which is GREAT for me cuz i dont have to translate all ts. so its a pretty art heavy chapter so you all will have many many panels to look at.
we begin w xin sitting in the back of the car, presumably being transported back to the annex. (yes hes doing his L cosplay again: https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098443/)
he says "the coin, i should have brought it instead of putting it in."
then we pan to a coin(?) on fire thats falling. to guess what this means, i think its the coin xin used at the phone booth in the previous chapter. it drops into a bunch of other coins. if i had to guess i think the head family took the coin xin used, burned it and threw it away into another pile of coins so it can never be used again. xin knows this, which is why hes saying he should have kept it earlier.
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098444/#image
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098447/#image
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098445/#image
as its falling we get these words "if, i had made a different choice back then would something have changed? if i hadn't left school and returned to the annex back then. if only i hadn't tried to cover up for lau with lies back then. what if, what if..."
xin wakes up suddenly due to a rustling sound he hears. he seems to have been sleeping on the floor of the annex's porch.
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098450/#image
he sits up, and sees (a not real) tan walking towards him with an oleander branch in his hand. tan walks until hes right in front of xin and stops. they look at each other for a moment, then tan rips the oleander leaves off the branch, except for at the tip. he begins to eat the oleander leaves himself.
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098452/#image
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098454/#image
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098457/#image
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098458/#image
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098466/#image
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098473/#image
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098472/#image
he offers the branch with the remaining leaves towards xin and cries.
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098479/#image
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098480/#image
xin grabs the leaves, but before he could rip them off, tan rips the branch away.
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098482/#image
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098481/#image
he says "its okay aitan. you dont have to worry about me" (note this line gave me a headache to translate because google translate INSISTS on calling aitan, "ethan" instead, so i was left scratching my head for a solid minute wondering who tf ethan is).
xin continues "i know you did your best, brother" then tan straight up disintegrates and vanishes into the wind.
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098486/#image
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098483/#image
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098484/#image
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098489/#image
the screen becomes pitch black.
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098488/#image
xin says "watching my brother scatter and disappear into the wind, when i thought i was completely alone" he has a RESENTFUL ass look when he says this. https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098487/#image
he hears footsteps and turns around,"ah, footsteps again".
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098494/#image https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098493/#image
the screen fades from white to black. kid lau and xin are running towards him hand in hand. lau and xin grin. i miss when they were happy TwT
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098490/#image
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098501/
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098502/#image
they run right past xin. xin looks towards his younger self, and his younger self looks back. as younger xin is being dragged away by lau he says "fool"
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098514/
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098506/#image
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098507/#image
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098508/#image
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098509/#image
xin is left looking at their backs. and we can see younger xin smiling. END OF CHAPTER.
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098510/#image
im gonna be real idk wtf most of this chapter meant. i dont have the brain capacity for this. ig xin thinks hes left all on his own, then he sees his "brother" try to commit suicide and vanish, and he feels rly bitter abt that?? tbh i cant rly tell what he thinks abt it but he seems very very resentful about something regarding that. possibly being that even when he's all alone he still has to be tormented by the people who already left him, leavin him again.
as for what the kid xin and lau interaction means. idfk. younger xin calls adult xin a fool, if i had to guess, for being so resentful over his own imagination? because even if xin has these horrid scenarios created by his head, he can still have the good memories of being with lau or something?? xin already said this at some point unless im misremembering but he knows that the time he spent with lau when he was younger was the best time of his whole life.
but also, now we know that xin is fully suicidal. so the theory that hes intending to use the tattoo ritual as a way to commit suicide is not far fetched at all now. and it also explains why the season 3 cover shows him deadass praying to the pearly white gates. xin dont die plz...
im ngl this feels like a final chapter to the whole xin flashback arc, but idk. ive said that for nearly every one of the last few chapters LOL.
but i think we are still missing that final resolution as for what xin actually decides to do. his character has definitely matured over the past few chapters. so far i would say season 3 is xin, having left lau alone, is slowly mentally breaking down and realizing that he is completely alone. he now knows lian doesn't actually like him much. the head family won't listen to shit all he'll say. the only thing left to remind him of lau (the wolf videogame) is broken.
and he feels like he's losing even more control of his life than he already has. not only is he constantly being watched by the head family, but someone is following him around the annex. i think(?) the story said its actually lian, but ngl i want it to be multiple ppl lol. also if it was just lian it wouldn't explain the first time xin heard the footsteps, which were in the completely opposite direction from lian, who wasnt even inside the annex.
as a result of his mental deterioration, xin lwk became a worse and worse person, because he truly believes that he's the one suffering the most in this entire situation. that's why he mocked chen i think, cuz at least chen still had someone who loved him and looked out for him to the point of sacrifice, while xin doesnt have that. (lwk i think lau will make some big ass sacrifice for the series finale but maybe thats me snorting crack again).
because xin feels entirely powerless and alone, he continues to do nothing, even if as the heir he is supposed to do *something* and that something could save others. so far the only major good thing xin did this season has been literally indirectly saving mali and yajin's lives by having lian warn lau. lian emphasizes that xin is supposed to decide what to do about the whole killing off the other family lines thing, and also do the succession ritual (which im fairly certain would require lau to be there), but he hasnt done any of that. he loves lau, but because he's been hurt so much, he doesn't even see lau even if he desperately wants to, and *could* as evidenced by the phone scene last chapter.
hes been pushed to the point of suicidal ideation. his view of his brother is very interesting to me, because its almost contradictory every chapter lmao. last chapter he was completely resentful towards tan, for leaving him all alone, with no one to understand his sorrow. at the beginning of the season he idolized him, and believed he was right about the annex being a haven (ofc he was obviously lying to himself back then). but now xin is expressing that he knows that tan was deeply sorrowed and that he tried his best. idk if tan basically committing suicide is entirely accurate, considering he v much wanted to live at the end lmao, but i def get the sentiment. and now tan offering xin to do the same but ripping it away is a little confusing. i think xin's feelings about tan are most accurate this chapter, though im sure his other feelings towards him are true in a sense as well.
idk i think the only question is what path is xin going to go on.
anyways fav panels this chapter are:
xin being angry asf:
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098487/
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098494/#image
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098493/#image
the whole sequence involving kid xin and lau was cinema:
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098490/
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098501/#image
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098502/#image
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098505/#image (look at them zoom aww)
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098506/#image (this is probably my fav panel ngl, hes so pretty)
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098507/#image
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098508/#image
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098509/#image
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098510/#image
also the coin being on fire was cool asf:
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098444/
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098446/#image
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098447/#image
https://www.mangago.me/home/photo/61098445/#image