First Love

Tragic? My first love, I thought he was really my first love but I guess wrong. The things he did to me was not meant to be done to anyone. I thought what we had was special and I thought we might of last longer than three years, I got pregnant 4 months into our relationship but before that 2 months into our relationship he hit me, he didn't just stop at one punch, I got punch, kick and bite for two hours long. He came home high on Coke and been drinking. I didn't know what I did. During the time I was pregnant he cheated on me and wasn't there for me. But during those three years I thought he would have change, because he said "I'm sorry I won't happen again." "I didn't mean too" all that shit. Remember I have my child still with me during these times he did not only physical abuse me , but I went though emotional, verbal and financially abuse by him. And he says he love me? Why would he do that? I left I finally left when he push his own kid away from him. I woke up from all that and was like what am I doing? Look what I'm putting my child though. He will grown up thinking that's alright. Since than I'm trying my best to move on from that. I thought what we have was love. I didn't know anything. But I'm glad I met him though because I have my son and I'm grateful for him for that. I can forgive him but I can't forget what he did. So now I hope he can treat his gf he has right. By the way I have fully custody and he only has supervise visit. We might when we were 18 I left when I was 22. I'm 23 now I have proof of everything he did , I have proof what he says to me. I call the cops once , so that's on his record. So that's my story what I thought was my first love.

oh my god when I asked that question I thought nobody will even answer it or maybe there will be people who reply with funny or awkward story. This is horrible abusive relationship is the worst. Why didn't you end things with him right when he started hitting you? It's fortunate that you're still healthy and still going strong. I hope this doesn't prevent you from falling in love again.

My first love is my cousin. At that time he loved me too. We kissed too, my very first kiss. You know what, i have a bad peraonality and naughty. So he hates me for being like that. He hates me so much, until now. But i am me, so if he couldnt take it at that time, he will never cant for the rest of his life. So... Bye bye first love... Oh sometimes i dream about him, but that's just a normal brain reaction to recall some "long forgotten" experiences... I didnt have any regret at all actually..

Never been in love so following. I want to know too ┗( T﹏T )┛

I was grandma-zoned by the bitch

ive never truly "loved" someone. just temporary crushes. i honestly dont know what "love" is. the only love ive known until now is family love.

I dunno why, but i always fall in love with good-for-nothing boys... Yep... I know exactly he will hurt me in the end.. Maybe i am a masochist.. (?)

masochist :v I don't think so. My mom is rather worried about me cause I've no experience in love so I may end up choosing the wrong person. I think you are wise enough to know who is right for you unlike me :)

Ahahahaha, Well I'm glad you asked! (And you'll probably be sorry)
I'm technically still in it. About two years now.

Realised I had a massive crush on one of my best friends when he started having to miss school due to depression. I was like 'oooo this is exciting' and everyone was like 'you've literally just figured out you have a crush now...?!'

So I like research and started to research best ways to confess and how to tell if someone likes you, I'm ashamed of myself too.
Decided I was gonna confess. Not because I'm a particularly confident person, but rather because I'm a very logical person. And comparing percentages, there was a far higher chance this relationship would get somewhere if I confessed then if I didn't! Also I'm rather impatient ╮(￣▽￣)╭

Good thing I did though, obviously, since he'd liked me for a few years now and would have never confessed on his own. So score for logic!

Buuuuuuut, then I realised that despite being physically and legally mature enough to settle down and create a family, I was in no way mentally mature enough for a simple high school romance. (HAVE ROMANCE STORIES TAUGHT YOU NOTHING CHILD?! THESE THINGS ARE NEVER SIMPLE. CHANCES ARE HE'S SECRETLY A PRINCE AND YOU ARE NOT WORTHY!!)

But as it turns out, dating someone means you have a responsibility to that person, yeah, I was surprised too. They need support. And feeding. And walkies. Like pets. It was scary.
And I was dating someone who was stuck in the middle of severe depression and self-harm, who still can't sleep at night due to nightmares. And as a result of this, was very very clingy and insecure very very quickly.

Lets just say it was far too much responsibility and pressure for little old me and I ended up feeling very emotionally drained, depressed, stressed, whatever for the majority of the year.
I'm a private person. I have Aspergers. Social interaction exhausts me. I want to go home at the end of the day and stay home, not hang out with people. But in a relationship you are seem to be expected to want to spend every moment with that person. Honey, that's just not me.
But I was feeling crushed by sudden shared responsibility of that person's problems and by what everyone expected me to act like.

I couldn't talk to anyone about it, or ask for advice since how did I know anyone would understand, perhaps it was just me being weird.
(HOW DO RELATIONSHIPS ACTUALLY WORK?! I DON'T KNOW! DO YOU KNOW?!)
And besides, anything I said would probably get back to him, we were in the same circle of friends after all.

So yeah. You could say we had a few teething problems. I decided to stick with it because I still loved him, we were still good friends, and I have a lot of faith the power of communication and in things working out.

I would of said it was one of the hardest years in my life, but errrr just wait for next year younger self. Just wait...

WHICH IS A SHORT WAIT BECAUSE I'M GOING TO GO INTO IT RIGHT NOW! You're welcome ;)

I moved onto college with my boyfriend, my best friend. Our group was a bit diminished because a lot of people had gone to different colleges, the best friend's boyfriend had left as well.
This is important because she spent the majority of the first term being very withdrawn, hard to talk to, and at times, snappy. So me and boyfriend are like 'hey, instead of joining her in awkward silence when she refuses to talk to us, lets do that thing where we enjoy our common interest together!'. And so we did.

She started ignoring me when I came into rooms, like properly stopping mid sentencing and turning her back.
I was a bit lost, I hadn't really realised I'd done something wrong. Lets be honest, I hadn't really.

We got involved in a cycle of me going 'hey I really value you as a friend, can we please talk about this?' and her going 'I'm so sorry, I feel so bad, I'll try harder', before going back to ignoring me after a couple of days at most. This continued for months and my self confidence was seriously shaken.
I got social anxiety and moderate depression. I couldn't even look people in the eyes. I thought, if my best friend, my longest friend here, thinks I'm such an awful person to be around but still acted like my friend for so long... Who else here has just been smiling to my face?

My boyfriend was my only friend for that whole time. The only one who sat with me. After a year of feeling crushed by his need of support, I now needed his. A little bit ironic I guess.
And he gave it without complaint, even though it must have been hard as she and him were still really close friends.

I'm still a little unclear on what her reasons were but the main idea of it was me and my boyfriend had been making her feel left out. She blamed my boyfriend for being too clingy and 'stealing' me away (to be fair he was too clingy. But then she was still getting on fine with him). And me for not taking notice. (I did. I just thought I'd fixed it since she had come back to me about it. And I was a bit more focused on all of that stuff above.)
... Also because I was stealing away her friends...? I'm not really sure about this one like, have you SEEN me in conversation. It's not good, I'm not gonna be making, let alone stealing, friends anytime soon...

ANYWAY!
I guess you could say that due to getting a boyfriend I lost my closest friend and go through absolute shit. But losing my closest friend made me get much closer to my boyfriend than I perhaps would have done.
So, I mean, it depends on which one you would value more, this whole experience has certainly proved to me who's more valuable.

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If you managed to read all that congratulations to you. Have ten whole cookies. I'm the queen of being overly long-winded.

My first love isn't overly happy or sad or anything. It's just me. Fumbling. Like usual. But its something I wished someone could of told me beforehand.

Relationships aren't easy.
It's very easy to get carried away with that feeling. I don't think I was ready. And he was perhaps... all too ready...
Don't underestimate that relationships are give and take. You need to be able to support that person and give up time for them, and they should do the same for you. But you should also be able to stand on your own.

And if they feel like a burden as it was for me then you seriously need to step back, think it over and talk it through with them. You need to consider your own health and happiness as well as theirs.


Both these years have shown me I have a lot more maturing to do! And I'll probably do so through fire. Life is fun... (￣∇￣")

Hope you enjoyed and sorry I'm a scatterbrain.

Ahhhh I first start writing this when there were no replies and now look! And I've written way more than anyone else.
I'm so so sorry, I'm not at narcissist I swear, I just get carried away ╥﹏╥

I just wanted to make the point I made at the end, which isn't an amazing point but yeah...

I am honestly really lucky compared to a lot of people, love can be absolute unreasonable shit and some of you guys are amazing for getting through that and staying strong.
Pri, don't worry about have no experience, everyone starts from somewhere and that'll just come.

Thank you :) ......but.....I want to start as soon as possible though ┗( T﹏T )┛ I just can't keep reading shoujo manga forever（￣へ￣）