My depression as pedophile victim

dear if you want to marry him you should tell him, and it's not even your fault so you shouldn't be afraid and u did wrong by not telling anyone about what happened to you
also before telling him, try talking to your mother about it she may help you, god be with you, sweetie. (=・ω・=)

I think you should tell him to avoid misunderstanding and conflicts in the future. If he won't accept you for the misfortune that happened to you, he ain't the one.

Wow I'm very sorry you had to go through that I went through something similar when I was younger too. I'm American so not being a virgin especially due to rape is in no way frowned upon. In my opinion it really comes down to how well you know this man and whether or not you believe he cares about you enough to accept what happened to you and if not maybe he's not the right guy, then again I don't know what country your from or how this affects marriage. Sorry I can't be much help, I'm American and rape is definitely not a deal breaker in a marriage here unless the guy is an ass. I hope whatever you decide it works out for you. It comes down to whether or not you really want to tell this guy, its your choice whether he knows or not.

The reason why I'm not telling anybody because I didn't know what that pervert guy did to me was sex because I was still kid...it happened a lot of times.. I once asked him why he do this to me and he said "this is normal, I love you. This is a part to become a real family." I nodded and thought maybe he also did it with his other foster child.. That's why I never told anyone. I was dumb? Yes! But when I knew what happened, it is to late... Do you think people want to believe me after years it happens? BTW,that pervert guy is my parents best friend. What proof I have?? ...all of these if I tell my mum now, I don't know what will happen to our family and I don't want to think about it..

What if he tell my parents about it?? What if my parents hate me and our family will be broken apart?? That is the main reason I hide that secret for so long..

I will tell him...but Im so afraid that he will tell my parents about my condition..

I think you should tell your significant other about what happened to you, and if he still loves you no matter what, go talk to your parents about it. get some justice from shitty uncle and have some closure :'/

Sweetie, I think you should tell him AND your parents... Well, at least your mom. I was molested as a child by my step parent (let me specify. I wasn't raped. I'm very sorry you have had to go through this). At first, I didn't want to tell my mom. I blamed myself and didn't want to cause problems with the family. However, at one point I could take it anymore and told her. At first, she didn't believe me. It caused a lot more problems than I thought. However, after time, she finally understood and deeply regretted letting it happen. It was hard, but worth it. It's honestly too big of a secret to hold in alone. You regret letting it happen and think that somehow it's your fault. Until it's all out in the open, it will continue to haunt you. So, talk about it. It may suck at first. It will be hard. But in the long run, it's definitely worth it. But that's just my opinion from my experience.

I personally think you should tell your parents first. It doesn't matter if this perverted guy is a close friend of your father. If you're family loves you, then they will totally chose you over any other person. Please, don't keep this as a secret. That guy deserves to be exposed. Once your family knows about this, it may be easier to tell the boy who you want to marry. Good luck, I hope everything turns out well.

I am so sorry for what had happen to you.. pardon me first i don't speak english so i don't think that my english is good when i'm writing. Does your foster dad live with you now? This is hard for you,. and i'm not in the position to advise anyone but,. have you told your mother about this? I don't know about your mother but knowing this is crucial for her. I hope i can be there for you.. Also, the guy that wanted to marry you,. Have he been long knowing you? For me, even if this is hard, i think it is better if you can tell that guy the truth.. The way he respond is up to him. But i truly hope he can accept you for who you are. Love is unconditional. he may be shock at first but if he truly love you, he can accept everything about you even your darkest past. If he dont im gonna beat the shit out of him. Wait I forgot you said he is a good guy, well i'm just gonna beat him softer then. But to be safe, i do want you to consult with a counselor and take their advice instead of mine. This is a link that i thought might help you . https://centers.rainn.org/ At the section -get help- you can ask for advice for this. They are professional people who is experienced in this. I hope this can help you,. I pray for your happiness

wtf I wanna go and kill him
this is so messed up
I think the best solution is to tell the guy about the whole issue and your condition
even if he told your family about it
first, he may tell your family to help you face them because your parents need to know that that fu*king guy who they think of him as a close friend did that to you
also if he didn't help you but made the thinks worst
you here have to positivities
First: you knew he isn't a good person for u, NO you knew that he don't deserve you
Second: your parents knew and they may believe you after knowing in that way
because they should know in the end

and tell your parents what THAT jerk told you with u talked to him about the reason he did it

even if things got bad
STAY STRONG
your strong and you can deal with this situation, and you will prove to your parents that he did it
you should find a way because your the RIGHT one
fight GIRL

WAIT OMG and you say it happened a lot of times
wtf i want to kill him
your parents really should know
you shouldn't stay in this situation


girl fight don't lose hope without even trying
（￣へ￣）

Thank you for your advice..i really appreciate it...no my foster dad doesn't live with me..he has his own family.but still he live near our home... I haven't seen them in a while because I always avoid going to an occasion that I'm sure he is there.. But on next week is my sister's engagement ceremony and guess who is the host?? Yes, he is the host of the ceremony so that is impossible for me to not meet him... I definite going to tell my significant other about myself, no I didn't know him from along time. We just met at one occasion about two months ago when my father introduced him to me...

Yep..it happened a lot of times.. But it was 22 years ago,so yeah...thank you for your advice.. I will tell him and ready to facing the results no matter good or bad

Thank you so much for the advice.. I will tell him. I will prepare myself to accept any results after I tell him.. I will stay strong

Guys.. I have text him that I want to meet him tomorrow...he was joking saying that I want to date with him...gosh, he just pure although he already 33. I only known him through my father two months ago but I feel like I've known him forever, I love this guy and I want build a family with him... Pray for me that everything will be alright, and if it's not just pray that I can face it strongly..

yes YOU GO, GIRL
I Know that I didn't go through similar thing and I don't understand the feelings you have now
but I believe in you-you can do it and I'm sure
and it's sure better than holding it
It will be sure hard at the beginning but after that things will get better
fighting (≧∀≦)

that cute
good luck cupcake ლ(´ڡ`ლ)

Tell him! If he really loves you he will accept you. If not, all of us will go beat him up no matter where you are. Also, tell your parents! I think instead of being mad at you or hating you or anything like that, I think they would regret even letting you near that perverted son of a bitch. Instead of turning their head away I think they would turn their head toward you, hug you, and then cry for you. I think the only thing they would be mad about is the fact that you didn't tell them for 22 years. If your country thinks not being a virgin is bad, I think that's more of a reason that your family would protect you because some perverted ass took their precious daughter's precious viginity. I hope this helps and good luck!

Good luck! I also am in a country that being not a Virginia is frowned on so I can understand that but I didn't have anything that happened to me like you so I can't say that I understand but be strong and positive and never give up! I hope he can help you and stay by your side.. good luck and if he didn't tell your parents either way tell your parents I really believe that they will help you and believe you unless they Andre shifty parents so don't give up!

Thank you.. When everything is clear, I will tell my parents about it..