Sometimes, they are realistic like haru wo daite and Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai . Plus Yaoi is made in japan, obviously mangaka are going to be inspired and draw from their surrounding which is japanese men. Therefore the skinny uke you see in yaoi most of the time is the true body type of asian men. It's not chicks with dicks. It pisses me off when people say that. Its only a chick with a dick when the uke acts like one (therefore I will drop it, I want a uke to act like a boy) e.g Okane Ga Nai (hate it and dropped it).
If that not the case it is just bodyshaming.
and the straight x gay trope you see in yaoi is sometimes true. Out of 7 billion people, there are bound to people who fall in love with the same sex even if their orientation doesn't change.
People only know 3 labels, gay, bi and straight and there isn't a room for in between. There are far more label for sometime as complex as sexuality. Also labels are improtant but we shouldn't use it to limit ourselves
https://www.reddit.com/r/gaybros/comments/88r4ia/been_with_women_my_whole_life_but_i_think_im/
Also many gay men don't read yaoi but they do read yondea sensei work especially http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/saezuru_tori_wa_habatakanai/ cause it shows proper male x male relationship at the finest. She really captures the male persona and the reality of yazua is bit realistic even if the plot is made up
Therefore it depends . Some yaoi are far more realistic than others
like life Senjou no Bokura is extremely realistic
http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/life_senjou_no_bokura/
and Soko Ni Suwaru Na seems pretty realistic as well.
But one thing yaoi does not show you is that gay men have to prepare themselves for anal, this mean dieting as well such as lots of fibre content and they shouldn't eat meat or junk before they are going to do it
I think the old yaoi mangas are more realistic than the newer ones because when the old manga came out, there wasn't many yaoi around. They couldn't copy cliche troops and follow trend of new ones e.g omgerverse, not using lube, having beer before sex
So the mangaka researched a lot about gay couples when they had to draw yaoi back in the days (drawing a manga or writing a book is really hard, you need sources from somewhere). If you notice that a lot of old manga deal with HIV. Barely new ones deal that. But sometimes the newer ones capture the male x male relationship much better.
Most western gay couples are vers. Wherease in Japan, most of them have strict top and bottom roles, they are even called tachi & ネコ neko. Some are vers as well.
Some can be realistic but yaoi shouldn't be use as a base for one's understanding of gay relationships, most of yaoi are based on heteronormative stereotypes and plenty come from the fantasies of (usually straight) Japanese girls and such, not aaall of them but plenty for sure, and yaoi is basically that, big fantasies all over xD Look at bara too, bara is usually made by actual gay men and yet are extremely unrealistic, cuz again, is nothing more but their fantasies. Yaoi (and bara, and yuri) should be used for no much but entertainment, not to define queerness, if that were to happen, I think it would do more harm to the actual community than good. Things like what defines a character to be "uke" or "seme" does not apply to real life guys, and so on, considering there are all kind of people in the world and all kinds of interactions xD different people likes different things, after all. o/
Did you know in sienien there is always stuff like this girl being a security and having a love affair with her boss. I don't read sieneien or shoujo cause I hate anything hetero (≧∀≦) but my friend does. She says the security x boss troop gets old and and its too overused. Why can't the girls be in another occupation?
So my other friend does business and accounting in university and she has just finished her 4 years at uni. In her 4th year (in england for the 4th year we do work experience abroad) she chose to go to japan and guess what
all the women are in the security field. They literally aim for this, they don't aim for chief or anything. They aim for this position
What i'm getting at is that the mankaga will always use her surrounding for inspiration. When you write a book (I tired before) you have to get sources from real life. yes yaoi is not a representation of western gay couple (no way in hell). But some of the stuff in yaoi does overlap with Japanese gay couple (like the body type and physical built (no wonder i find the uke so gorgeous and whenever i watch gay porn, I have to watch Asian gay porn, it just turns you on) .
Same with manwha, some of the stuff overlaps with korean gay couples. Especially when there are realistic yaoi manga out there (trust me there are, yes they are underrated gems, but they are also magnificent and you should search for them). But yaoi does not form the underlying foundation of gay people.
Yaoi covers the basic, but gay relationship are far more complicated like heterosexual relationship (infertility, impotence, you never see stuff like this covered in sienen or shojuo, although it was covered in yaoi ╮( ̄▽ ̄)╭. An example is Kimi ga Boku no Subete | You Are All I Need . It is fucking gooooooood, It is underrated but the sexual tension, the plot and realistic atmosphere makes this yaoi amazing. Yes it is yaoi (thank god(๑•ㅂ•)و✧), it just shows parts of heterosexual relationship where infertility and impotence plays a part in .
Honestly speaking I think yaoi is more realistic than shouen, sieneien, or shoujo cause its for mature audiences, so the mangaka will write something that is mature. Not all yaoi are like this, some are.
I love you too
Do yall use yaoi as a base for real gay couples?