Sorry, guys! During system maintenance, some functions like comment are unavailable.

PSYCHOANALYSIS

KOMODO GREY June 17, 2018 8:46 am

So.. As a psychology student I'm gonna try to dissect and make sense of what Sangwoo means by saying "I win" at the end of Chapter 38.

If you look at the scene when they are on the rollarcoaster and Sangwoo asks Bum to give him the frog because his pockets are too small for him to keep, I think he was actually going to throw it away IF Bum did give it to him. (Same as the picture) Why? Well as many of you guys can guess, it's probably because Sangwoo doesn't want to admit something. This is the beginning of his tethering of the feeling of 'guilt.' OR more specifically, his acknowledgement and rising awareness of the reality of his 'humanity'.

Anyways, when Sangwoo offers to take the frog that Bum had 'lost' before, away, Bum tells Sangwoo "It's okay, I'm sure I won't lose it this time." Proceeding with Bum's lovely face that actually looks genuinely happy for the first time. (Probably and possibly since the first time he was born ;-;) This leads to the panel of Sangwoo being silent, turned away from the audience, his expression hidden, as he just silently stares at bum. (pg. 53) This is the moment when it strikes him. He feels 'guilty'. Then he proceeds to respond with, "yeah, you're right. Don't trust me. I'll only hurt you, over and over and over...." to which Bum doesn't hear, because it wasn't actually meant for Bum, it was meant for himself.

In my analysis, I believe the more time he spends with Bum, the more he is becoming vulnerable; human. And this arc was the first time he realized and became aware of it. Previously, throughout most of him and Bum's interaction, whenever Sangwoo would display some sort of 'caring' act to Bum, it was for one or two reasons. For one, he was in a state of disassociation where it wasn't really 'him' that was reaching out to meet the affection of Bum, but either an "act" or a psychotic episode of traumatic 'disassociation.' Two, he had an alternative motive, and or reason to display his 'act' of kindness, just a way to play the game to get to another goal.

However in this chapter, when they go out for the first time, he had no ulterior motive. It literally was just to have a good time. Thus, when Sangwoo sees for the first time how genuinely happy Bum is BECAUSE of him, he feels a pang of 'guilt'. So when Bum refuses to give Sangwoo the frog, Sangwoo takes out the picture they took and flies it into the air, intending to throw it away, let it go because that's how it's supposed to be. He is a killer. He has no emotional attachment. This moment was supposed to symbolize and discredit all of his kind 'acts' as being just that. An 'act'. However, when he turns to meet Bum's most heartfelt genuinely happy expression, saying "It feels so good when I scream," Sangwoo can't. He can't let it go. At the moment, on the last panel of CH37, Sangwoo's expression freezes. For a moment, he is agasp. Before quickly returning to his usual 'act' and just dismisses this internal faulty of self denial and confusion.

And you see, his fast recovery is what makes this even scarier than it actually is. Because why? well, continuing onto Ch 38, Sangwoo seems to be much more affectionate and 'kinder' than he usually is. Thing is, this is both him and not.

In a sense, Sangwoo is trying to prove to himself that he can still play the 'act' of doing nice things and being kind and 'genuine' to Bum without actually 'feeling' it. He wants to prove to himself that he hasn't changed. That Bum hasn't changed him and made him more 'human.' He wants to prove that he can still be as dispassionate and cruel and unempathetic as he should be. That he can pull himself out of his situation in 'playing' with Bum any time and in any way, when he wants to. However, in Ch 38. after having sex with Bum, he throws up and looks defeated with a 'I win.' Basically I think he is in self-denial but he knows this and in FINALLY addressing and realizing the growing emotion and 'humanity' within him and plucking it out, killing it, crushing it, before it became too late, he announces it as a 'win.'

Responses
    KOMODO GREY June 17, 2018 8:53 am

    Orrr...maybe i'm reading into it too much. LOL(〜 ̄△ ̄)〜

    Echse June 17, 2018 9:01 am

    thanks for that awesome analysis!

    Kaiberry June 17, 2018 3:13 pm

    I actually read that whole thing, how interesting & It makes sense. Thanks!

    Anonymous June 17, 2018 6:15 pm
    Orrr...maybe i'm reading into it too much. LOL(〜 ̄△ ̄)〜 KOMODO GREY

    Yeah definitely. There's no way Koogi did so much research.

    maibredsgaard June 17, 2018 8:59 pm
    Yeah definitely. There's no way Koogi did so much research. @Anonymous

    I disagree. You have to do a lot of research in order to write such complicated characters in such a compliated story. I think Koogi did a LOT of research and this was able to write this masterpiece.

    Anonymous June 18, 2018 12:42 am
    I disagree. You have to do a lot of research in order to write such complicated characters in such a compliated story. I think Koogi did a LOT of research and this was able to write this masterpiece. maibredsgaard

    Koogi did do her research of course since this story requires it. But I don't think she delved so deep into the technical aspects of it like the OP did. I have a feeling that the OPs analysis , while it's excellent, won't be how things have gone. The "I win" for example, I don't think that is Sangwoo trying to prove to himself that he is still as unfeeling. He really is unfeeling and he is gonna do something crazy.

    yaya June 18, 2018 1:53 am

    Your anaylsis was very interesting to read. I never really thought too deeply about every one of sangwoo's actions like that. it makes sense and if your analysis is correct then it's understandable on why Sangwoo did those things, like as if he had something to prove to himself.

    KOMODO GREY June 18, 2018 3:23 pm

    Haha thanks for the replies but yeah...

    I may be WAYYY too over analyzing things but in Sangwoo's position, it would be one hell of a good outline for such a disturbed and complex character. Plus, psychoanalyzing his actions and sometimes nonsensical dialogue, incoherent with what Bum says, it's pretty obvious that he shows and says very little of what is actually on his mind.

    Also, I just wanted to add that in Ch 38. Sangwoo seems a bit off in a nonchalant kind of way. He seems a bit more 'odd' than usual. And then, I basically confirmed by theory when he threw up at the end. It kind of tells me that 'IF' my theory is correct, then Sangwoo threw up because he physically felt sick from the uncomfortable feeling of guilt in his gut. (+prob some of the alcohol) But I mean, if you think about it, taking someone who rips apart guts and rapes and stabs women, someone who has never felt any thing remotely close to remorse or of vulnerable human emotion before, throughout most of his life, suddenly feels this twisting, choking, sense of tugging consciousness in his gut. The emotion would wash over him 100x more amplified.

    Plus if i want to get even MORE RIDICULOUSLY SYMBOLIC, the throwing up alcohol from the 'hangover' means he threw up what was beginning to 'bud' inside of him, since it was beginning to become 'toxic' for him. Him throwing up was kind of a 'purification' of throwing up the budding little sprout of 'humanity' within him. And it's even more of an 'I Win,' for Sangwoo because that little bud of *feels* was implanted there by Bum in the first place.

    I also kind of have this theory that Sangwoo isn't actually as evil crazy where he enjoys mutilating and killing women but does so as an act of self defense to repress a certain trauma he can't really process. Also I have a theory that if he ever does end up returning back to being 'human' and dropping this guard of who he is today, he would just break. I think Bum might actually be a lot more mentally stronger than Sangwoo is.

    KOMODO GREY January 11, 2020 7:37 am

    wow I was spot on. (Wrote this before the toon was finished)


    Gave myself goosebumps.

    KOMODO GREY July 29, 2020 4:43 pm

    "
    I also kind of have this theory that Sangwoo isn't actually as evil crazy where he enjoys mutilating and killing women but does so as an act of self defense to repress a certain trauma he can't really process. Also I have a theory that if he ever does end up returning back to being 'human' and dropping this guard of who he is today, he would just break. I think Bum might actually be a lot more mentally stronger than Sangwoo is."




    I wrote this in 2018 before the story ended. I was spot on. Dayumn.