Ikr I wonder why he wanted to choke him in the first place?
But he wasn't a man at the time he thought that, he was a pubescent child in middle school. Kids in puberty don't think straight and they don't have enough life experiences to see all the options available to them. Why else do you think suicide rates are so high among pubescent kids? It is probably the single most stressful time for any person and they have no tools to deal with it all. "When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail." Having no tools to deal with the problems they face makes it infinitely more stressful. What is worse about this story is that he's never been able to forgive himself for thinking that way. There is not a person alive who has never done, or thought of doing, something gallactically stupid during puberty. That doesn't make them a horrible person, it makes them a stupid kid.
No sane man wants to choke their lover to death tho lmao