Theres also the gender roles that affect how parents treat their kids. You're a girl so especially in the asian culture they treat "SONS" better. Been there done that, got fed up and left. Some parents are strict ao that it'll push you harder into achieving things. What parents fail to realize is not everyone wants to be pushed into a corner. Its frustrating not getting the appreciation you deserve. I dont know how many times Ive argued back at my parents for their idiotic old customs. When it becomes too much to bear, love yourself and move out. Only then, maybe will they realize how much you were doing for them.
If it’s any consolation...I think you’ve done well so far! Good luck and stay strong girl (๑•ㅂ•)و✧
Maybe retaliate against your mother saying that he is doing some of those things. If that doesn’t work just ignore her. You have an amazing path in life currently (other than your mother not realizing your talent.)
Thank you so much for your words, I’m glad my feelings are understood
Thank you for your consolation, I really appreciate it
Ive tried but she doesn’t budge much other than the usual “stop arguing, just do it.” I’ll need to become a more outspoken person I guess, but thank you for your motivation.
Anytime Sister! Chin upヾ(❀╹◡╹)ﾉ~
Sorry guys, I’m just going to rant on her for a bit because I have no one else to rant to since some of this can’t be easily told to other people. Feel free to skip over to the next comment. The thing is, I’ve heard this saying a couple times in asian cultures but it’s damn true that mothers will always love their first borns at least a bit more than the other children. Why do I think it’s true? Because I’ve worked so hard to do everything right but I’m still labeled as a lesser child. I’ll never be as good as my older brother in my mom’s eyes. I studied well in high school, got straight A’s, attend a college close to home so I can help my family (I have 4 younger siblings), the most I go out is like three times over the span of a few months because any more than that would make them believe I’m going out TOO much, I do all the chores i.e mop the floors/dishes/scrub toilets/laundry/cook/get siblings ready for bed/drive them to school because my mom is a night shift nurse and my siblings are too young to fend for themselves. It’s all so much and yet, at the same time, it’s never enough. My brother is 2 years older than me, had an average of 2.5 gpa in high school, barely tries in college, and goes out with his friends 4 out of 7 days a week. He’s lazy and he does not help me out until I’m BEGGING him for some help (“I’ve already cleaned the kitchen so at least do the dishes in the sink while I get the kids ready for bed!”) But still I get scolded by my mom for not keeping my weight in check, for scolding my younger siblings too roughly when they’re in trouble, or for not having a boyfriend (HOW Can I meet a boy when I’m so busy with daily life?!) My brother stays up until 4 am playing games on his computer or partying with his friends and sleeps in until 5PM in the afternoon while I’m up at 8am cooking breakfast for the younger kids. STILL he does not get scolded because in her eyes, my older brother is a precious albeit lazy caring and nice son. If only she knew the things I did. If only she knew he goes out and gets drunk and dies drugs with his friends. If only she knew he has gotten into trouble MULTIPLE times for the actions he’s done while he was high off of ecstasy or drunk off of hard liquor. She does not know any of this, yet she praises how wise he is to her friends and my relatives or how far he could go but her excuse is he just “doesn’t try hard”. He almost didn’t even attend college this year because he does not have a major and does not know what he wants to do with his life, but she didn’t make a big deal out of that. My courses though? I showed her my classes that will set me up for my future and I get an “Hm. Take them, I don’t care.” I just want to scream FUCK ALL OF THIS but it’s not my nature to quit in the middle of something. My younger siblings need me and I need to make a future for myself. I just wish I would be shown some appreciation from her. I just wonder why in the world do I have to carry so much weight. In my mother’s eyes, why can’t me and my older brother share it together?