It sounds to me as if you are feeling lonely, can it be?
I mean, I've heard several times people talking about orgasms as something that makes you feel a bit depressed afterwards, and I think that happens when the sex is not that fullfilling, like if you were feeling a void inside afterwards, but I really don't know if that is what you mean.
Try to use your imagination to get excited
It's so much better it you masturbate when you are excited
Because this way, whenever you are going to masturbate it's already in youe mind
If you re a girl. take a look in your vagina with a mirror and try to get to know your best spot, start to know yourself better
if you know your own body and what you are doing, then orgasm from that would be equally satisfying. get to know yourself more than well enough, and outside stimulation can even at times get you there.
i mean, each person is different; some use fingers, some rub, some use a pillow or surface, sex toys, some prefer a spray from a shower head. there's plenty of options out there.
Maybe you have yet to learn the correct way the make you climax, maybe you don't know your body well enough, maybe you'd enjoy sex more than masturbating, maybe you're asexual or demisexual or maybe you just simply are one of those who can't really get the satisfaction from masturbating, it's not unusual. There could be many reasons, trial and error and time is the best way to go about it I'd say.
is it weird i don’t feel satisfaction after fingering myself? it feels good and all but then it’s not as satisfactory idk