not knowing how to truly express his love is not an excuse for his behaviour, he's not the only person in this relationship and everything has to go according to how he acts, his actions are making haesoo feel so depressed and helpless so he doesn't have to wait for him and stick by him just because he doesn't know how to express his love it doesn't make anything better....even if they talk ,the harm is already done.
This
Sorry but did I write that could be an excuse? Because I don't think I did. XD
Anyway I do think J is implying that doing it with H is like tell I love you to him..if I got it right J also hasn't any other partner for sex, meanwhile H is doing that (probably trying to free himself or trying to prove him or J he is not the one)
In this kind of situation I don't think is clever to search for a victim or someone to blame, because this situation was brought by the two of them. A relationship is about two person and has a circular motion, like psychology tell us
Funny thing is I really think J loves H so much, but he just don't know HOW to love him, just like an horny and timid teenager. He is an adult though, so H just can't understand anything he does, he thinks he is simply playing and J can't see he's humiliating H... He can't see that because in his mind he loves him and he is only a bit capricious, so that's ok. When H tries to speak for himself or tries to go to someone else, J is confused or even hurt. This is sad, really. They are stuck. They should talk..oh, wait, this is just the same old problem..MISCOMMUNICATION!!!