Responses
No matter how old we get some stuff will always be upsetting, especially the family stuff and stuff that drags on from childhood.
I feel like i understand how you felt. My parents don't interact much but once when i was around 20 my parents were arguing, and i was right there, and i was just suffocating in i don't even know what emotions and i just,,, Needed To Get Out Right NOW (so i just ignored them and went outside, they were too into the arguing to notice)
What i do want to point out is that there's a good chance that your mom was also upset, so don't take it too much to heart. Maybe try talking later when stuff calms down??
I don’t expect anyone to read this or anything but I just had to let it out. After all we’re in an illegal manga page lmao. Anyways, I don’t have a good relationship with my father. I haven’t seen to him-or his family- in three years except in four occasions. Today was the baptism of my nephew and he was there. I expected him to be there, but at the moment I saw him, I completely break down. I started crying and telling my mom I didn’t want to be there, that I could take a bus and leave. I felt terribly bad. It was mixture of pure rage, sadness and guiltiness that just made me extremely anxious. I can’t describe the feeling, but it was suffocating and I felt like he would hurt me or shout at me or idk. My mom, who had a prior engagement, told me we had to stay for a couple of hours and then we could go, I accepted bc she was getting mad and start telling me to grow up. She left me alone at the back of the room and I felt so fucking shitty and guilty bc I ruined the activity for them. I just wanted to go home. When we were finally leaving, a lady who I thought as family, told me: “don’t be so hateful. Don’t do this to your mom”. I can’t really translate what she exactly said, but that was like the final blow. I realized my mom was saying that it was my fault she had to leave so my sister and that lady started blaming me when in fact my mother had something to do completely unrelated to me. Idk. I just felt so damn bad and lonely bc I felt everyone was against me.