Just read ur post and I thought i should give u some advice and i hope it'd help you with this situation. I'm a person who experienced major depression and bulimia. I used to eat alot (but i was never overweight i was like 64kg) until one day i looked in the mirror and felt pure disgust with my appearance as a female and felt way too ugly. I never told my friends about this but only my famiky knew. The best way to help your friend is to shower her with love and encourage her to do something fun with you like sleepovers or giving each other makeovers and things like that! It'd seriously help her forget these insecurities once she realizes that she is with someone who loves her for who she is not because shes ugly or pretty. I hope that was helpful :)
Hello.
I'm someone like your friend. I think, I'm not so sure.
When I was about 12 years old I started to think I was too fat and all my facial features were not right and I was not pretty. My friends and family would tell me otherwise because (as a reasonable conclusion) they didn't want to hurt my feelings. I don't believe they are genuine but, maybe for your friend you are being genuine. Only you know that I guess.
I started to lose interest in all social interaction and like your friend, I stopped eating, became so underweight that I lost my period and would come into school with 'bomb hair' because I was just so frazzled everytime I looked in the mirror. Except by that time I don't think anyone cared about me because I was such an outcast. I'm really really glad you care about your friend.
Please don't just tell her to stop and that she's the opposite of what she's saying. She will trust you less and less. Ask her what's going on, and see her side. Validate her, tell her that it's okay to feel like that and that she can learn to accept herself in a healthy way. She probably doesn't need to know how beautiful you think she is in reality. She needs to know how much you care for her even if you thought she was ugly. Don't let on like you're trying to change her mindset either, I think that might make her a little bit wary of you also.
I think it's hard from your perspective. People like this, like me, can be fragile, because they think they are worthless without a perfect appearance. It's still important to let them know that they have a personality and that's something that is much more rewarding to have and to improve.
Sorry for the long reply. I just read this and I felt like instantly I really related to your friend and wanted to help her.
Hello,
I can relate to your friend. I've been ridiculed by my parents...They would constantly remind me on how fat I was. Constantly telling "if you eat too much we're gonna have to get a crane just to get you out of the house", "I can't even be seen in public with you", the constant shaming...And my mother would bring up the topic to my other relatives and I would notice the glances and stares pointed right at me....It drove me to multiple attempts at suicide. I developed an eating disorder binge eating and then purging what I ate....
I moved out at Eighteen as I could no longer take the shame I've received. Basically I stopped talking to my family for a while.
Please ask her what's going on with her life. It could be either her parents or relatives that are fat shaming her. Be that friend that ask. I had a friend like that and greatful for him being my rock....Sorry, if I took a dark turn.
My friend genuinely think she's ugly, at first I was just thinking she's seeking praises and compliments so I gave her some but that wasn't it, she's really pretty even prettier than most girls I know but she's really down for some reason and believes she's ugly from the bottom of her heart, at first I thought that it was a phase that will pass but then she started coming to class with messy hair like a bomb blew up in her head, I asked her what's up then she said that she's too ugly that she can't even bear to look at herself in the mirror, my friend used to eat a lot and I mean ALOT but now she barely eats and when we hang out she mostly sigh and seem depressed, I really wish to help her somehow so she can return to her cheerful self seeing her like that breaks my heart but nothing I say convince her at all, I don't know what to do at all, I don't know what caused her to become like this at all so please someone give me some advice on what to do... Seeing my friend hating on herself is tearing me apart