First, allow me to apologize for my delay in responding to you. I had to take a break from here for a bit because, as you've probably noticed, a large number of readers have some very small minded views and opinions. Much like the one you have asked about. I guess it started making me lose faith in our future generations. LOL Then, I return and I am blessed to see an intelligent and insightful question on my message board. Thank you for such a wonderful greeting upon my return.
Now, to answer your questions: I don't think it is the genre that is the issue when it comes to the "rape debate" as much it is the demographics of the audience, particularly on this site and sites like it. The audience for yaoi is dominated by females ranging in age from 18 to 30 for the printed media. However, the audience for yaoi on free sites like this one has readers as young as 11. Hentai tends to be more popular with males, but yaoi and yuri are the domain of women. This is why the stories tend to have the whole fairy tale, happily ever after love vibe. So, now you have young girls who have been exposed to both fairy tale stories of princesses find their princes and the real world concept that rape is a crime. The idea of Cinderella being raped by Prince Charming goes against everything they have learned and experienced up to now. Of course it freaks them out. Why would a parent tell their 11 year old that, while rape is bad, it is also a fetish that people have fantasized about since the first erotic cartoon was doodled on a cave wall? They wouldn't do it. There is no need to expose an 11 year old to that yet. That is a conversation for when they are older. This leads us to our current predicament. Young readers being exposed to concepts far outside their scope of understanding without the guidance of an older mentor who can explain the hows and whys of what they are reading. I view rape in yaoi as exactly what it is... fetish content. Rape, as you've noted, is very common and popular in erotica and hentai. It turns readers on. Obviously the act, in real life, is a crime and morally reprehensible. But that is what makes it so fascinating and erotic in fiction and fantasy. It is one of the ultimate forbidden acts. Humans love to want what they are forbidden to have. Since the actual act is a crime, we enjoy it in fantasy and fiction. Safely.
Yes, yaoi and yuri are riddled with inaccuracies. Especially older manga. And yes, so is all fiction. That is what makes it fiction and not fact. However, in the case of yaoi and yuri, older manga are also riddled with prejudice and homophobia. You might think that it is common knowledge that fiction has inaccuracies, but we are back to the problem of the audience being so young. Up to this point in most young reader's lives, all the stories - even the fairy tales - have themes that directly relate to a truth in real life. However, this is not the case in yaoi and yuri manga. So, when the fictional world that a young reader immerses themselves into through yaoi or yuri doesn't coincide with the real world they feel dissapointed and betrayed. The other major issue I see in inaccuracies in yaoi and yuri is the fact that so many young readers view manga as some kind of "gay relationship how to manual". Particularly in the case of the mechanics of the act of sex. If kids think that they can have anal sex as easily and smoothly as it seems in manga or even porn, someone is going to be seriously injured. By the same token, heteronormalization of homosexual relationships gives young readers the idea that all bottoms are effeminate, girly-boys or that there is a "girl's role" in a homosexual relationship. What does that even mean?! LOL
I hope my answers have given you new ideas to ponder and I look forward to having more interesting conversations with you in the future. I'm always happy to answer questions and if you are one of the young readers I mentioned, I would also be honoured to mentor you through your yaoi/yuri experience. I am 49, a bisexual woman who recognized and accepted my sexuality at age 9. I was raised by my brother, who is gay, and his many friends and lovers. So, my knowledge is borne from experience and I'd be happy to share it with you.
Mameiha, I have a questions for you. There is rape in hentai as well. Sexual harassment in ecchi harem are passed off as comedy. Sexualization of children is also quite normalized in anime and manga. But I wonder why people are so disturbed by the rape in yaoi? It is after all fiction and mainly erotica. I have seen people saying how it's just drawing when the aforementioned things are brought up. But yaoi on the other hand is seen as problematic. I am generally curious and I have never been able to get any answer from anyone.
Many would say how inaccurate it is. But isn't most straight romance also heavily inaccurate in their portrayals? I never expect real life human beings to be the way media portrays them. Isn't that a common knowledge? I very much still respect the lgbt+ community and I know that Yaoi and Yuri is knowhere near how actual gay relationships are like. Sorry to dump such huge texts on you >< but you seem to be a mature and intelligent person. I would like to know your opinion regarding this matter.