Nah, he's not. You got it all wrong. What he wants is to be treated normally. Like every couple is, when they're guy/girl. But society doesn't treat you like that. Being labelled as "gay" comes with stigma, sadly, and makes other people dislike you. He doesn't want that. He wants to be treated like a person. Not like a "gay". Because that's just something you are, not something that makes you inferior
Well of course, since society doesn't treat you like that, you can't be so open in public. I can understand him hating the word "gay" because of the repercutions. But that's how things are and love is not an imagination, is caring for someone. He had a relation and as soon as it didn't went the way he ran off. If for Naruse is more important to have a public relation he should crossdress. For me he should think more carefully about himself and hopefully kei can be by his side, although for now he seems straight.
Sorry. Meant to down vote
bruh
Wow, your EQ (emotional intelligence quotient) must be in the single digits, Eli. Because all it takes is the ability to empathize with someone else to understand what's happening here.
In a "normal" male/female relationship, two people who love each other get to be happy together without worrying what society thinks of them. Typically the male is masculine-- he's protective and indulgent and strong. Typically the female is feminine-- she's supportive and submissive, the homemaker to his breadwinner. I put "normal" in quotes because obviously not all male/female relationships are like that, what I have described is an idealized 1950s version of what a couple is like, but many of the traits I described still exist in most male/female relationships in some amount.
This is the accepted configuration of relationships in most of the world and anyone who deviates from that configuration is basically criticized. So if a woman is the breadwinner and the man is the homemaker, the man will likely be criticized or mocked. If the woman is masculine and the man is feminine, people will say they're strange. And obviously, if there are two women or two men, people will say that they're wrong because they're not "normal".
This guy first of all wants to live in a world where he is allowed to just love who the fuck he wants to love without that person being afraid to be seen with him or without being told that he's not normal. Very few people are normal and it's ridiculous to try to force everyone to be exactly like a tiny group of people.
Second of all, he doesn't want to be a woman, rather he wants to play the traditionally female role of the relationship. When he sees hetero couples, he resonates with the woman. He wants to be held and treated tenderly, he wants to be the one who gets protected and indulged. He wants someone to be possessive over him, etc.
And while he acknowledges that he likes men, what he's saying is this: gay culture is different from hetero culture. Just like Hispanic culture is different from Eastern European culture or any number of Asian cultures. This doesn't mean that one is better than the other, it simply means it's different. Gay culture is unique because of the struggles that Gays have had to go through in the past, etc. Gay culture is in part from the fact that men and women are different and are often socialized differently, so for a long time the idea of getting married, having kids, building a home-- was looked down on by some gays, and someone who wanted those things was accused of wanting to be hetero (just like how some black women who straighten their hair are accused of wanting to be white). Gay culture has a lot of elements to it that this particular guy doesn't resonate with, which is why he finds it hard to use the word for himself-- because he doesn't feel like he fits into the gay community and he doesn't want to do Grindr hookups or go out to gay bars etc etc. He just wants to have a normal relationship the way a man and woman might.
In reality, anyone should be allowed to choose the roles they'd like to play in their own relationship without being criticized because it doesn't fit into a box labeled "normal".
Couldn't have said it better. Afuckingmen.
How rare to have such a long reply, I appreciate that. What I don't appreciate is how you say that my "EQ" is single digits through a comment where I sayed from the start that this story is confusing to me. If you want to think that way I won't change it, but if you understand it better doesn't make you a better/smarter person. Just a rude one. If you want to say something, say the things that can make avperson do a better judgment. Basically express your point of view, cuz unless you know me that comment will just make make me feel unease. I don't like how people just criticize in order to lower a person cuz they think they are right. This is for the next time you burst your thoughts into someone, who you have no idea who he/she might be.
What you are saying is legit, he should have someone who he should love and be how he feels right to him
Naruse atm has just a approach with his gay life that is more an ideology and it doesn't stand with the reality. The first time he confessed was cuz he was attracted to the guy. He said him that even if he would go out with him, he wouldn't have been seen as a gay and that he could still love girls. I understand that he wants to play the "traditional female part" but he lowers himself too much. When you like someone you don't try to convince him to be with you and you mustn't share him with other girls cuz society says so. Is a very damaging relation.
The second guy he dated, he didn't open and he didn't discuss his insecurities at all. He just ran away at the first obstacle they met.
He can be hurt, but if he diesn't open to people he'll remain the same. Kei is the only one to who he was open to and Kei seems to actually understand him.
When someone is so focused on the idea of what they want without thinking how to achieve it, they'll just have an unhappy life.
And keep blaming themselves and think how unlucky they are won't help.
I want him to be himself, but he needs to try meeting people and stay with people that are similar to him. They can make him understand what he could go through and how he could handle things. And slowly develop himself.
Unfortunately beeing gay is seen as bad from most people and he wants an open relation where people can see. I don't think he'll be able to do so, unless there is a place with few people or the partner and him doesn't mind.
Sucks for you I guess ╮(￣▽￣)╭
I went back and re-read your comments and realized that they weren't as bad as I initially thought they were. I did prejudge you based on the behaviors/ideas/words of other people, and I was rude as a result. I regret that and I'd like to apologize.
I still feel that you're not understanding Naruse's point of view and experiences. For instance, if you go out with a guy it doesn't have to make you gay. Such things as bisexuality, pansexuality, heteroflexibility ("mostly straight") all exist. But too many people in society think in black and white terms and say "if a guy dates a guy he is gay plain and simple."
What Naruse was upset about is that this guy - who spent time with Naruse, who liked Naruse and enjoyed Naruse's company) - might have logically decided to date Naruse, if they both lived in a society where people understood that sexual attraction isn't all about gender. The guy's whole argument was that if he dated Naruse, he'd be labeled as gay. But what if that wasn't something that would happen? The guy might actually date Naruse because they're obviously good together! Do you understand why he is upset now? The "straight" guy thinks that he only has two options to choose from, when sexuality isn't like that and he could in fact date Naruse without being gay.
Naruse is mourning a world that basically forces him to adopt a label that immediately puts a neon sign over his head that says, "THIS DUDE IS DIFFERENT HE IS NOT NORMAL NOW GIVE HIM HELL". If you really think about it from Naruse' point of view, you would understand why he doesn't want to be called gay. Because in reality he doesn't want to be separated out from the crowd. He just wants to be able to walk down the street with his lover without people whispering and staring or judging or saying, "Look at that gay couple," when in reality no one ever says "Look at that straight couple" on any regular day. Naruse wants a normal relationship that has no special labels separating him from everyone else, and no special social roles saying that he can't be the one who gets treated like "the weaker sex" in the relationship. In other words, Naruse is the one who's right about ALL of this. It's the world that is wrong.
You say that you want him to be true to himself, except... Naruse IS being true to himself. I mean, that's the meaning of the phrase, isn't it? You think Naruse should accept the title of gay and then stick with his own kind. Naruse refuses to wear your label because he feels that it's not right for him, and he believes that he should be allowed to find love amongst any group. As painful as it may be, Naruse is living his life on his terms-- he is 100% being true to himself.
You're right about him needing to think about things, though. Naruse doesn't seem to have many ties to his home country, so for the sake of his own happiness and mental health, he should probably leave his country and go to a more liberal and accepting country, one where he stands a better chance of meeting someone who will join him in the type of relationship he's longing for - one without stupid social expectations and restrictions and labels, one where he gets to live out in the open without him or his partner feeling conspicuous and scared.
God I love your replies, but I may beat you on this one with the length, I have many things to say.
I accept your excuses. But I feel like telling you, although I'm sure you're aware of it, that is a bad bahavior judging someone you don't know based on a comment. I can understand that my comment may be annoying, but is not offensive in any shape of form. It's not something worthy to "attack" the person. I don't think you act this way in real life, why would you be this way on the internet, unless you are garbage inside?
I'm more interested in your point of view than Naruse's. You are saying that if a guy goes out with an another guy it doesn't have to make him gay. I disagree with this statement, sorry. People need labels as a reference. The same thing works with kids. They need discipline and a guardian. You can't let a kid do wathever he wants, he won't grow in a right way. People without any reference will end up not knowing basic things and will feel lost. There are people out in the world that want you to refer to them as "it" because they don't want to be classified as male or female. There are people that don't have any kind of disease, but want one (I suggest you to see a video called "Daz watches woman makes herself blind", is funny and entertaining, but at the same time makes you think how far can people go). Another example is the transgender trend that is rising. Is good that transgender people fight for their rights, but some of them are just dumb (I suggest seeing "Everyone is transphobic" by Repzion). Same goes for the extreme feminist community or extreme vegans. And this sens of lost will make people feel angry and attack whoever is against their belief.
Back to Naruse. From what you are saying, I can understand Naruse has an angsty behavior towards the word gay, because he doesn't want to be labeled, just to be free to love and be loved. And this is also what the manga wants you to think. I find that you are strictly sticking to this thought because of the way that the manga shows you the development of the story. But is this the only way to read and view the manga? I personally have strong beliefs and I don't easily "bow" to the main message of a book/Manga neither to what someone is saying. I like to think about it, if I don't know many about a certain subject I take my time to sort out my thoughts. And I understand Naruse's current situation. I've been bullied from a tender age from 13 to 15 years old. For years I was deeply drawn in bad thoughts about myself.
I feel the need to make a comparison between this manga and "Here u are".
Both of them have this topic about how people treat gay people and they are similar in both.
I want to compare Naruse to YuYang. They both go through similar experiences and they both have the same fears. The difference is that YuYang has finally found someone that loves and he's loved back. And guess what, noeone is stopping them cuz there are people that understand them and like them for who they are.
This something I wish for Naruse as well. I'm not labeling him to say is bad that he's gay and he should change. If I had issues with gay people I wouldn't read yaoi manga.
aruse needs to speak up, find people that can understand him, find someone to love and be loved back, beeing liked for who he is. Things can work out, is not impossible. But the state of mind that he is in now is hard to get out of it alonr. He is self damaging himself.
Damn I didn't know mangagos comment section also has debates like this , (which should've been expected by me)
I think Naruse is really confused about his sexuality and has some distortion view of reality. You are attracted to man, but you are not acknowledging that you're gay. You want to be treated as a woman when you are not. If you want to be treated as a woman you should have some needs to look like one. You can't just expect to be treated as such when you are not. Basically he should be transgender or a crossdresser. And if he doesn't want to be a woman and still kinda be treated as such, but in indoors, he needs to acknowledge that he's gay and he needs to find himself a boyfriend. And the way he grabbed Kei's hand he seemed to me a bit psycho. Well the drawings sometimes are scary, they both seem psychos haha. This 3rd chapter confused me.