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This Hurts to Read

Nera February 7, 2020 9:13 am

I was the same way - I never left the house. It was for...fuck, it was so long. Too long. It started when I was about 12-13? My parents stopped going to church and I stopped pretending I had good friends. I was homeschooled so I never had a reason to leave. I just...stayed home. It was bad growing up. My siblings bullied and abused me, but it was worse when they left. There's nothing more scarring than an empty house... I stayed alone like that for a couple years. Somehow, by the time I got the end of highschool, I knew I would die if I didn't change. I dug deep into my suicidal, depressed self and I went to therapy. I learned how to drive. I hated everything. I wanted to die everyday that I tried to change myself. It was so fucking painful. Eventually tho, it paid off. I gave up on therapy a year in and I really shouldn't have, but I was strong enough to go to college. I was able to slowly build up social skills and I met my girlfriend. I'd definitely have died if not for her and my brother. Those two just....held me together long enough for me to teach myself how to be human. I'm still with my girlfriend, but I lost my brother to suicide 3 months ago. I'll never get over it. He was my other half, my soulmate. To lose someone is a unique pain that even years of isolation can't compare to...

Responses
    Dimension Breaker February 7, 2020 2:18 pm

    Im sorry for your loss. We're all trying to be brave enough to make it thru the day. TT

    Salsa February 7, 2020 6:41 pm

    I’m really sorry for your loss...
    If you ever talk I’m a good listener x

    Nera February 8, 2020 1:48 am
    I’m really sorry for your loss...If you ever talk I’m a good listener x Salsa

    Thank you, love. I'm afraid I'm just a bit to scarred to admit anymore tho. Still, thank you for reading my small confession

    Salsa February 8, 2020 6:31 am
    Thank you, love. I'm afraid I'm just a bit to scarred to admit anymore tho. Still, thank you for reading my small confession Nera

    It’s okay i genuinely hope things become easier for you xx

    Lyly February 8, 2020 6:35 am

    You left me a deep impression on your confession tbh and somehow you just give me the courage to look into life in a good way and somehow im really proud of you, knowing how hard and difficult it is to change oneself but slowly bit by bit you are doing everything very well to achieve what you are today ..... And I'm sorry for your lose but I just hope that whenever you lost your hope you can still get it back, just don't give up . And I believe you can overcome everything on your way since you have come this far already and if you ever need a good listener, I'll be there. Thank for sharing your story

    Nera February 8, 2020 12:06 pm
    You left me a deep impression on your confession tbh and somehow you just give me the courage to look into life in a good way and somehow im really proud of you, knowing how hard and difficult it is to change o... Lyly

    Aw... This was really sweet. I never imagined my struggles could be inspiring at all. Thank you for listening already. I hope I find some hope too

    Kanashii February 9, 2020 5:22 pm

    I meant to up vote qwq sry

    Nera February 10, 2020 3:26 am

    Holy shit, did not expect so many people to read this haha Don't mind me. Just my broken ass spilling my guts in the comments of some yaoi