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What is cheating for you?

The_Devils_Advocate July 20, 2020 2:21 pm

Cheating isn't just having sex with someone else. Cheating can be just a kiss, or even a date. It is just that people can handle a date, but not sex.
Also, the main couple was separated anyway, so even if Azu had slept with the guy, she wouldn't have cheated anyway, since like I already said, they weren't together anymore. It doesn't matter if they weren't divorced yet, marriage and divorce are just a "political" thing.

Responses
    Frenzy July 20, 2020 6:05 pm

    For me as soon as feelings are involved, lets say your partner have feelings "like/love" with somebody else - that is what I call cheating. In this case Junpei still have feelings for Rina. Because how could you win over someone that have fall out of love from you?

    The_Devils_Advocate July 21, 2020 12:06 am
    For me as soon as feelings are involved, lets say your partner have feelings "like/love" with somebody else - that is what I call cheating. In this case Junpei still have feelings for Rina. Because how could yo... Frenzy

    I don't think like that. Feelings are (or should) come naturally, you can't decide them. Cheating is when you do something you shouldn't do, on purpose, while still in a relationship.

    Frenzy July 21, 2020 4:03 am

    Yes that is exactly the problem when you said feelinghsm should comes naturally, its just makes you lose the battle without the fight. When they are cheating because of action lets say they did it because they like other people's body ideal, status, personality, sex, kiss methods, etc: you still can win your partner back by: changing any of those things or changing any of those from your partner's part. But as soon as you involve cheating with emotion, that is when it goes to territory that I don't know how to fixed.

    In this manga Azu explain to Rina's husband essentially: you can win Rina back if you change the way your mental work, your behaviour, etc
    While for Rina: how could she go back to her abusive husband? She essentially already fall in love/albeit obssesed with Junpei who is a softy compare to her husband.
    For me I think that human emotion is so unpredictable and complicated, that when in relationship it is the most scary thing to have/steal/stolen in the relationship formulation?
    It sounds really roundabout, I don't know how to properly explain ^^;

    I got your point of view: cheating is similar to like the law of stealing, you know you should not do it, therefore if you consciously take this action, you need to be judge by trial and accept proper punishment.
    By the way these were ages ago, interviews conducted by Asianboss on youtube they were talking about cheating its intereseting and its from Japan so kinda related to the society that set on this manga. Have fun and take care~ (⌒▽⌒)
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENscSDOsodE
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEosfpqDaKc&t=68s

    Sara July 21, 2020 1:40 pm

    For me it is considered cheating when you start thinking about someone other than the one you are in a relationship...like your feelings have already started to change...or maybe I am too much I don't know I am too scared to be in a relationship so maybe its because of that but I can't trust someone who won't be with me forever...this manga just scares me more like there's no guarantee that the man you love and marry won't cheat on you after marriage

    The_Devils_Advocate July 21, 2020 4:23 pm
    For me it is considered cheating when you start thinking about someone other than the one you are in a relationship...like your feelings have already started to change...or maybe I am too much I don't know I am... Sara

    Unfortunately, there will never be a guarantee for that. the best you can do is to try to understand the person character very good, before taking the next step. It is not always possible I know, but what else can we do? The other thing is communication. Communication is the key, because when a couple speaks their mind out (with proper manner and all), the other can understand what is going on in your mind, and try to fix the things that aren't working anymore, which is causing problems in a relationship. Usually when someone starts thinking about someone else, it might be a sigh that something in the relationship isn't working anymore. If the person you are with, isn't a scum by nature I mean. Like I already wrote above, people can't do anything about feelings. Feelings aren't always permanent. Sometimes when you are an adult, many factors like stress at work or with the children, can make you go in to a crisis. Like the midlife crisis. Here too is the communication the key. Maybe a vacation or a little change in life, can help with the stress and all. The live of the adults is really hard, full of stress and burdens, which can make you go "crazy". As a married adult, this are the only advices I can give you. ╥﹏╥

    The_Devils_Advocate July 21, 2020 4:59 pm
    Yes that is exactly the problem when you said feelinghsm should comes naturally, its just makes you lose the battle without the fight. When they are cheating because of action lets say they did it because they ... Frenzy

    That is not true. You can still fight and win the battle. As an adult you have much stress and huge burdens to carry. Those thing contributes to wanting a change in life, like starting something anew, and these again contribute to new feelings which maybe you don't really feel your own. Communications is the here the key. You need to find the root of the problem, and by taking care of the source, those feelings can disappear. Maybe a wife feels frustrate because the husband is working too much, and spend less time with her. This will help devolving feeling towards other, which aren't really her feelings but much more of a projection of her desire WITH her husband, towards someone else. Living this apart, if you think that thinking about someone else is cheating, than everyone on this planet is a damn cheater. You too. Maybe not now, but sooner or later it will happen to you too, when maybe you get in a fight with your partner. The very definition of cheat is to do behave in a manner to archive your goals in a non ethical and moral way. If you start having some kind of feelings (not necessary love, but like or admiration too), you aren't behaving in a "against the law" way to reach your goals. Not as long you ignore those feelings. In a relationship aka marriage, is cheating when one or both have sex with a different person. Outside the court, is kissing also cheating. Everything intimate you can/should/do with a partner, when done with someone else is cheating. Otherwise would watching porn and reading hentai/yaoi manga also mean to cheat. Again, there is no one in this world who didn't think about someone else in their life. Something like a perfect relationship or partner doesn't exist. I do know the Japanese society very well, but a video of personal opinions won't help change reality and facts.

    The_Devils_Advocate July 21, 2020 5:00 pm
    This reply will be showed after approved! Atrisa777

    Nope. That might be the start what leads you to the actual act. But "thinking" is just thinking. Otherwise everyone would be accused of the worst things possible because of a mere "thinking" and not behaving.

    Frenzy July 21, 2020 5:43 pm

    I never said: thinking about someone else is cheating. I think you mistook it with someone else's reply.

    I said: as soon your partner starts to have feelings "fall in love/like-love" (on which you state that feelings come naturally) on someone else, that is considered cheating to me in my personal opinion.
    That is the biggest betrayal/cheating your other partner done to you. Not by action cheating sex, kissing, etc. For me, if my partner falls in love/like-love with someone else bigger than their feelings toward me is more hurtful than their cheating actions. Its similar to how words cut larger than action? Was that how the saying goes? I hope that makes sense.

    And you are absolutely correct with your approach of the solution, that is why I said that cheating because they are attracted to others due to their body image, sex methods, kissing, etc are still possible to win back with eye to eye talk.

    1) living this apart, if you think that thinking about someone else is cheating, then everyone on this planet is a damn cheater
    Ans: never said this, but I could understand my words can be depicted like that, in other words, you are talking about if your partner has an idol that they like it can be considered as cheating? no, that's not what I meant.

    2) Cheating as archive your goals in a non-ethical and moral way. If you start having some kind of feelings (not necessary love, but like or admiration too), you aren't behaving in a "against the law" way to reach your goals.
    Ans: here is the problem: what is non-ethical and moral in a relationship? I think that depends on each individual definition of what is right and what is wrong in a relationship. For you, that means physical affection (anything above kiss) is wrong to you which means it is against your own sense of law in a relationship. (your next paragraph clearly stated this and I understand your point of view)
    For me, cheating is when my partner fall in love/like-love willing to abandon me for someone else, I don't mind admiration, we can still like/have feelings/admire celebrity.

    3) Something like a perfect relationship or partner doesn't exist: true, that is why I still prefer to just stay single: marriage and having a partner is overrated anyway and to me its just how human do it because they want evolution (having their gene to their kids, survive natural selection from parents and society, etc)

    4) A video of personal opinions won't help change reality and facts.: it won't but it makes you think and understand their point of view, I guess to just how different people perceive reality and facts?

    Sara July 21, 2020 8:10 pm
    Unfortunately, there will never be a guarantee for that. the best you can do is to try to understand the person character very good, before taking the next step. It is not always possible I know, but what else ... The_Devils_Advocate

    Thanks so much...its still scary that the person you love might go away with someone else but your response kinda made me view it a positive light..like sometimes it might be understandable

    The_Devils_Advocate July 21, 2020 11:17 pm
    Thanks so much...its still scary that the person you love might go away with someone else but your response kinda made me view it a positive light..like sometimes it might be understandable Sara

    I am glad I could help a bit. I have my full share of bad experiences too, and I think that even if there are no such feeling anymore, as long as two talk to each other, without cheating or doing other horrible stuff, than both can move on, and later thinking about it as happy moment.

    Sara July 22, 2020 2:00 am
    I am glad I could help a bit. I have my full share of bad experiences too, and I think that even if there are no such feeling anymore, as long as two talk to each other, without cheating or doing other horrible... The_Devils_Advocate

    Yeah you're right...Thanks again