only have one comment for this. "Parenting goes wrong" I'm the middle child in my family s...

you're right! me too. I get blamed for everything,in the end I'm a rebel. I try my best to do what I like u.u

my older sister got good grades and went to MIT. now im reading this kind of stuff and my parents are frickin angry. when my mom found out, she threatened to call the police, my school, and tell my dad

Im the baby of the family and can't rebel at all... if i try to i disappoint them and they put stress on me to get a job/education that they "believe" would suit me... parent should allow kids t be themselves and not dictate how they live their lives. "To fail means we will succeed"

What's MIT?

Massachussetts Institute of Technology, Its a rly good college/university/whatever, one of the best in the US

Yeah, i'm the eldest and they expect so much from me that i've become scared of doing anything. I ended up something like a neet because everytime i do something, they find faults like "that's not what you should be doing" or "you're supposed to be this". And since i always disappoint their expectations of me, they think i'm a rebel. So i understand makoto's feelings when he said he'd rather let go so he wouldn't get hurt.... =')

I'm the oldest of 3 brothers and i was always put pressure by my mother to be better than my brothers just because the other 2 were from a different mother but i never gave a damn and i have a great relationship with my brothers and their mom, parents should keep their issues to themselves not try to pass them onto their kids.

I'm the eldest and my parents always pressure me into getting high grades all the time. When my siblings fail, it's fine with them but when it's me they get crazy. Ughh.

oops sorry I pressed the 'annoying' button. I was actually aiming for the 'reply' button XD.
anyway, i want to say that I am a middle child, and actually the smartest of my siblings. my grades are always the best compared to theirs. but that didn't mean I get everything.
my oldest sister is smart, sporty and social and she's the one who got everything. she got my parents attention just because she's oldest, also she got friends, boyfriend, status at school, even loved by the teachers. I grew up in her shadow. my parents were very proud of her and gave her everything she wants and needs. they basically left me by myself, because I am quiet and not as demanding as my older sis.
then later she went off to university while I got into an elite school for very smart students (can't believe I made it) and that's when my parents finally paid me some attention. next thing I know my older sis got jealous and had an outburst about mom and dad spoiling me. WTF? So in the end my parents had to tone down on their attention for me just so she and my younger sibling would not get jealous over me. Or so they said.
oooh yeah. story of my teenage life ┑(￣Д ￣)┍

Yeah, being the baby of my family, I felt as though my older brother and sister got anything and everything. Since I never opened my mouth, the parents never thought any different. They even made fun of me years later when I gave them a clue about some of the presents the used to buy my sister and I (she got the barbie dolls, and their luxury vehicles, and I got "the Sunshine Family". Never heard of them? EXACTLY!). My brother has gotten half a dozen vehicles from them, my sister got her first car from them. I have owned two cars, and paid for both of them myself. Though I really don't feel jealous, even if it looks that way. Okay, maybe a little . . . .

Yeah, being the baby of my family, I felt as though my older brother and sister got anything and everything. Since I never opened my mouth, the parents never thought any different. They even made fun of me years later when I gave them a clue about some of the presents the used to buy my sister and I (she got the barbie dolls, and their luxury vehicles, and I got "the Sunshine Family". Never heard of them? EXACTLY!). My brother has gotten half a dozen vehicles from them, my sister got her first car from them. I have owned two cars, and paid for both of them myself. Though I really don't feel jealous, even if it looks that way. Okay, maybe a little . . . .

"The Sunshine Family"? Wow, that's one hideous collection (I had to google it and it turned out that it was produced back in the 1970's with low-cost in mind in order to compete with doll makers who re-located their facilities to Asian countries).
Anyway, it is good that you've learned to depend on yourself from this. Even only children can opt sometimes not to depend on their parents. For instance, Danny Choo, Jimmy Choo's son, never accepted one penny from his wealthy and renown father (or so he says).
His dream was always to visit Japan, work with the Japanese and learn the language and he just did all that. He started his way up by waiting on tables in a restaurant which served mainly Japanese customers to finance his traveling projects. This is how he picked up the language too and he even ended marrying a Japanese woman.
I found his resume to be inspiring so perhaps your parents unintentionally gave you something much more important than the Barbie collection and cars... the ability to spread your own wings without help (perhaps you will be more apt at succeeding in life than other children who have been pampered by their parents and received their cars without hard work!).

Wow an elite school, that is very impressive. I don't think that parents's attention is detrimental to success (quite in the contrary it can become in some cases a liability). Of course parents have an important role in our upbringing but if their parenting is not working well, we shouldn't let this stop us from succeeding and being happy. I think that a person can become successful and happy even if he wasn't surrounded by his family's attention if he works his mind through it.
If parents made a mistake by not being equally attentive towards all their children, then it is bad but we can still love them as much as we can. I don't have any younger siblings but if I had any, I would be very attentive towards them if I thought that my parents are giving too much attention to the older one.
Furthermore, I have a little theory of mine - which isn't infallible of course - I think that children who learnt to mend for themselves make wonderful partners (lovers) when they turn into adulthood. I believe that they are more perseverant and wouldn't jump off the boat of a badly going relationship at the sight of first troubles. They tend to be more faithful, honest and appreciative of their partner because they learned to get what they want in life the hard way i.e. it wasn't handed to them on a silver platter. Of course it is just my opinion, it may not be true about everyone but I believe that it holds some truth to it.

'Till this day my mother's griping about the preferential treatment her siblings got; like a festering wound and she's always poking at it, so it really never heals. To be able to "drop the issue" you need to know and accept yourself just as you are (at least that's what I think, since I had to "drop the issue" early on). Knowing how scarring parenting can be, I decided to concentrate on the basics with my twins, so there are very few things I hold as important as those:
- We love you to pieces and we can't be wrong, so love yourself!
- If you love yourself, have pride and dignity to guide your decisions
- All we want for you since day 1 is: be happy, healthy and safe.
I strongly believe, that the last part is an inherent wish all parents have - combined with their own experiences, scars and burdens. There are plenty of clumsy individuals out there, who're only on their deathbed able to voice their regrets, sorrows and true feelings. Understanding your own parents "in depth" might help healing all those small but nevertheless painfull gashes they leave you with over the years, but you'll have to start with yourself, be it love, forgiveness or acceptance. We all strive for being loved, cherished, accepted and appreciated. And the first persons we expect this from, are naturally our parents. This would work out well if parents were perfect, but we aren't ┗( T﹏T )┛