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I'm sure most psychologists wouldn't employ Haruna's technique, but as a rape survivor who got into BDSM in a submissive role two years after my rape, I can say that it does work pretty well for some people. Hiding from what you fear maintains your victimhood and fear, but running headlong at it with a sword and shield defeats it. This is true for everyone. The only difference is what we use as a sword and shield.
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I bet, though, you have a safe word that when you say it, you expect your partner to immediately stop. And that it was your choice to get into BDSM in the first place. The uke in this story didn't choose; in both stories the seme forced him to have sex and in the last story it was to appease the seme's jealousy. Forget what the uke was feeling. It's the same as in the bodice-ripper romances--rape is fine as long as it happens between the two love interests. But it's not. Me, I'd love a story where the seme tries this nonsense on the uke, and the uke in turn kicks him in the head until the seme behaves.
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What gets you through the night gets YOU through the night and what gets me through the night gets ME through the night. However, if "bodice ripping" ain't your thing, yaoi is gonna be pretty tough on you. I've read nearly 2600 yaoi and, trust me, 98% have this trope. Shounen ai, well, there's no explicit sex so it stands to reason that bodice ripping isn't involved. Maybe that's a close, but better, genre for you. No one forced you to read this. There was no gun to your head and, frankly, I doubt anyone you know personally even knows you read this - based on statistics only - so no one is going to think you weren't "cool" for not reading it. So, why then, did you bother? Personally, I hate shoujo. Therefore, I don't read it. I don't suffer through a shoujo just so I can bitch about all the tropes I hate in it. I guess I'm just not that big of an attention whore.
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Naw, it's not 98%. I've read plenty of yaoi that doesn't have rape, forced sex, or even dubious consent in it. But I agree, a lot of mangakas do use the trope. And if rape is a natural part of the story, then I'm all right with it--if the mental, emotional and physical fallout is dealt with realistically. There are some that do that and they're powerful stories (Katsura's Rouge comes to mind). But many times it's just a shortcut used to add instant drama, instead of creating it organically from the interaction of the characters with each other and their environment.
And no, no one forced me to read it. But I did and expressed my opinion. That is allowed. I also disagreed with your original comment. That too is allowed. But, I wasn't dinging you. You're right; whatever gets you through the night is for you to decide and I wasn't saying otherwise. BTW, I have no problem with bodice rippers as long as the heroines are reasonably intelligent and the plots make sense. None of this "he raped me but it's okay because we've fallen in love with each other" nonsense in either historical or any other kind of romance, including yaoi. Actions have consequences.
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Sure, in real life actions have consequences, but this is not just fiction, it's erotic fiction. Do you know why the rape=love trope is so common? If you don't then nothing I say will be convincing because you are stuck in a first world mindset reading erotic fiction from a country with very antiquated ideas about sex and erotica. If you can't look past your own views to understand, not necessarily accept but just understand, the views held by others who see things very different from you, you will be condemned to misery by reading any genre where your views clash. Look up the psychology of sex in other countries. It won't always be pleasant, some countries encourage pedophilia to prevent rape, but you don't have to accept their views and you don't have to condone their views to at least understand why they see things the way they do. Ravishment, or "rape" as some claim, has been a fantasy for women throughout history and is retained in countries where the views on sex are very conservative and "patriarchal". You seem like a smart cookie, you must know this and you also must know that the general populace of Japan hold those same conservative and patriarchal views on sex. So, you are griping about cultural differences. You also seem like a social media savvy person. Do you really think it is okay for Japan to "appropriate the culture" of other countries? Or is cultural appropriation okay only when it suits your tastes? So many young people want the world to revolve around their views and yet they never once stop to understand why different views are held.
And you're right, it isn't 98%. It's actually more. Of the 2600 yaoi I have read less than a dozen have had clear consent. If it were 98%, it would be 52, not less than 12.
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More than 98%? Then you and I are reading from a totally different yaoi selection. For instance, out of the several manga I've read today, only one had rape (stupid rape at that: "I've fallen love with you and I know you're going through rough times, so it's okay that you immediately raped me after us meeting for the first time in ten years") and that was a 20-page one-shot.
Yes, I know this is erotic fiction. That's part of the reason why I'm reading it. And yes I know that there are those who find rape erotic. I don't, but, as I stated above, I have no problem with it if it is dealt with realistically and intelligently. (Harada's Yatamomo is another one that comes to mind.) But what the heck is a "first world mindset?" Of course I'm going to bring my foibles and scruples to anything I read. If there's a compelling reason to set them aside, then I can and will do so. But there's nothing compelling about rape. There is no justification in forcing a person to have sex against their will. Just because something is deeply ingrained in a culture doesn't mean that it's acceptable. There are wrong ideas baked into the very foundation of my country, but it doesn't mean that I have to accept them. Same with any other country. It's not cultural appropriation to change one's society so that people aren't victimized. A spade is a spade no matter what language you speak, and rape is rape. I'm not going to shrug my shoulders and say, "Oh, well, it's okay because it's a patriarchal country with feudal mores and ideas about sexuality and gender."
But what does all that have to do with reading yaoi? Look, my problem with the rape trope is as I stated above; it's used as a shortcut to create drama and its fallout is not realistically depicted. And it's not just Japanese mangas. Again, historical romances are very much a "first world" phenomenon, and many use the "I love you so your raping me is okay" plot device. But when they do that, I feel that the authors are talking down to me, if not outright treating me like an idiot. The human psyche doesn't work that way. Even if their body were okay, they would be mentally and emotionally wounded. Devastated even. And if they're not, if they give the rapist a pass because they're "in lurv," then something was already broken. And while there are many readers who don't mind mangas like that, I'd rather a mangaka who'd call a spade a spade.
Haruna's fix for the trauma was a bit iffy.. I know it was made so readers get more sexy scenes but same time it could have been done a bit other way.
Maybe I'm just too realistic or something..?