Well I'm bi and I first started liking girls at a young age like you. But I'm only out to my best friend and people on social media I don't know. You don't have to be out to anyone, but I can say that being out to at least one close friend makes a difference. I've never had a serious crush on one of my friends but I can assure you that this is just like any other crush. Just keep being her friend like you usually would. Try to distract yourself if it starts to get hard to ignore your feelings though c: If you need more advice you can ask me anytime! (Also same I don't think I'll ever be out until my high school graduation). Don't worry it'll all work out c:
Maybe.. because you have a "clique" that is 10 people or more. Maaaaybee.. you just want someone who can be only for you. Like a best friend. It may not be sexual at all. If you are always dealing with people (boys and girls) and to such an extent (I mean 10 people is ALOT) . Just try picking JUST a few and then go from there... ?
well, my advice first of all, is ask you a question:
do you see her in a sexual way?
if yes, then, well, i would probably see if she is also bi or the other way, and try to see if this feeling would go away, because time do things to people.....
if no, then its probably you liking her more than a friend, but less than a lover.....i think its like wanting to become closer to her as a friend, no sexual thoughts about her, but as @j said, it might be you wanting a friend just for you or something.....
alright, i'm a bi girl, and I'm gonna split this into parts for you.
ADVICE ABOUT THE VALIDITY OF UR LOVE AND SO-CALLED CONFUSION: Don't just brush this off, just because ppl may be saying that "ur feelings of friendship and feelings of love are too close together" or "ur just confused". You're feelings right now are valid, and you may not love this girl in a year, but you're crushing now, and it's important, because this might be a part of defining your sexual identity. On that note, you don't have to conform to a label, just be you and like who you want to like, whether that's girls and boys, or boys, or girls, or A girl and boys. You're valid.
ADVICE ABOUT TAKING ACTION OR KEEPING IT TO URSELF: From what you're saying, you really like this girl, and this girl likes you (tho u don't know if she feels quite the same way) You feel close to her. I think you should tell her, just to be straight (pun-intended) with her. She should know the way you feel about her, not bc "oh, she deserves to know if one of her friends is checking her out" but because you're obviously feeling a bit torn-up about this. If she suddenly decides to not be your friend anymore (bc "ew, a girl likes me"), well, in my opinion, she wasn't a great friend anyway.
If she's a really good person, like you're saying, then she'll just tell you that she doesn't swing that way and you'll still be friends. She may be shocked and there might be a thin wall between you, but that'll only last so long before she realizes that that didn't change who you were before she knew. You should know whether she returns the feelings or not (or at least is willing to try for you)
ADVICE ABOUT COMING OUT TO OTHER PPL OR UR PARENTS: I think you can tell your friends, but I don't know who they are, whether they're biphobic or homophobic. Like, really, the easiest people to tell are your friends. Parents, not so much. Especially if they're bigoted. I came out to my mom with ease, and she was great. But when my stepmom asked (I definitely didn't volunteer) and forced me to tell my dad... I was afraid. My dad took it waaaay better than I expected (mostly shock) BUT ANYWAY
It'll be hard if you decide to tell your parents, especially since you know that they're bigoted, but in the end, it's better for people hating you for what you are, then loving you for what you're not. EDIT: nobody deserves to be hated by the ones they care about, but hiding from them for the rest of your life. That's so much worse.
You could definitely wait til graduation and decide if you still love her and if you wanna stick with this identity (and if you really don't wanna tell your parents, you don't have to)
Just be true to yourself and do what you think is right. You deserve to be happy.
Sorry for making this so long!!! I hope everything you decide from here on out turns out for the best!!!(๑•ㅂ•)و✧
This reply is separate because @love_yaoi_forever and @j are wrong in a way. This is gonna be about labels mostly.
Asexual: capable of loving someone romantically, but not sexually.
(so, even if you don't want to be with her sexually, you can still love her romantically (●￣(ｴ)￣●))
Demisexual: doesn't really fall in love or feel a sexual attraction to someone until they've become really close friends. this may be the way you are with girls, specifically.
(so even if you've never felt this way before, it may be because this girl's special and close.)
You know the difference between crushing and friendship, I'm sure. (〜￣△￣)〜
Wow thank you so much for your advice. It was long but it was very helpful.
Well this whole thing is totally new to me. Someone up there asked if I feel anything sexual for her but the truth is I'm not sure. Actually, I mean, I haven't experienced anything sexual in my entire life (as in, I dated guys, yes. We kissed, yes, but no further than that. Both my past crushes and I were not ready to cross the line since there's school and stuff and my parents are very strict). So if you just limit sexual desires to kissing then yes I would want to kiss her and even seeing her makes my blush. I guess it's a crush but my feelings for her are much more tender than the feelings I had for my past male crushes and these feelings just clicked one day. I've known her for almost 2 years but unfortunately I'm not her closest friend. Maybe after graduation I'll try telling her my feelings because I can't take it if she rejects me or feels repulsed by my confession all the way till graduation.
I've told 2 of my friends and they're both pretty okay and even curious about this. There's no way I can tell my parents though, they'd faint sigh. And I guess it's too early to identify myself as bi since I don't look at all girls that way (like, looking at them as love interests), so this is actually unexpected. Maybe it's just that it's her that I happen to fall for.
And as for whether I want her to be close only to me... Maybe, but then I'd be okay if any other girl in the same clique is specially close to me. But I've had these feelings for at least 6 or 7 months for her and I just realized them recently so I don't think so...
Thank you for your advice. The friends I told about this also said that I should keep acting like normal. I guess I should do that. Please refer to my reply to the angrymortal, I shared some more things about me and I hope you'd understand my situation better. :)
As for whether I want her to be close only to me... Maybe, but then I'd be okay if any other girl in the same clique is specially close to me. But I've had these feelings for at least 6 or 7 months for her and I just realized them recently so I don't think so... Thank you for your advice though, I really appreciate it. :)
No prob! Its good that you ask for advice instead of trying to work thru this on your own. That just shows that you are seriously considering your feelings as well as hers. :)
Okay, so I'm an 18-year-old girl and I belong to a 10 people something clique at school (and they're all girls). We're really close, and most of us always hang out with each other and talk about the most random stuff. Sometimes we'd also talk about guys like who's hot and whatnot, though that's not the main interest of my clique.
I've only ever had crushes on guys, ever since grade school. Just about a year or so ago I was still dating a guy in my class. But now I've found myself having the same kinds of feelings for a friend in my clique. I've been observing to see whether I'm just confused or influenced by social media or manga, but mind you, I don't even read yuri and shojo ai. But that girl is very kind and sweet to me and I think I've probably had a crush on her. I'm at a loss of what to do. I talked about this with another friend in my clique (I didn't tell her specifically who my crush is) and she advised me to continue talking normally instead of putting some distance. Normally I'd identify myself as straight, but I'm pretty open-minded about sexuality so I wouldn't find this strange. I just don't know how I should act around her. :((((( I don't want to ruin/change our friendship but at the same time being so close to her every single day is bad for my heart. What should I do? And should I talk about this with other close friends or should I just keep this to myself? My parents are very old-fashioned so there's no way I'm gonna tell them. I can probably endure till graduation and get over her (the only solution I can think of) :(((((