True. Sometimes persistent violence that we experience at some stages of our lives affect the rest of our lives. Every moment becomes a moment to escape because consciously or unconsciously you’re always thinking of how to be safe. And no matter how safe you are physically, your mental self is never really convinced. We seek a save haven in the banality that others dismiss. And your reality is that you are fully aware that every human you meet is capable of putting you through that same violence. You never really trust anything sentient after that.
It’s not about the thrill or the desire or any of those things, it’s about control. For these violences we experienced made us lose our very selves, because of others who did not respect our bodies, our rights and our minds. So, every day is a constant struggle not to let that panic, that gut wrenching fear from boiling over and taking over our lives, long after the violence is over. And others may not see it, but we pat ourselves, if we can wake up, eat our breakfast, go to school, sit normally like others and read our books... and at night, even if our panic takes over, we try to sleep and we wake up the next day to do the same thing. Because others may not see it and may never know that we fought a war inside ourselves to do these things. As for those of us, we would know that we did something momentous even if no one can see it.
And if you haven’t gone through that violence, you are blessed and I hope no one ever has to go through that.
Isn't pedophilia a sexual attraction to children? The FL is clearly not like that. Thankfully, I didn't encounter comments like that because I will surely argue with them
Before all of these new chapters, there have been many comments saying her “fangirling” trait is similar to pedophilia and after reading these, i’m just upset because people really chose to judge a whole character/story without reading further. I cried when it comes to her past, since i suffered from the abuses like that too, so it makes sense when she’s so fixated (or fangirling like how they worded it) on Abel, because he’s her comfort character, especially when you’re using fictional stories to cope with the harsh reality outside. I can relate to that too. And when she came into this fictional world, her emotions shifted from the curiousity of a mere supporter into sympathy after she met Abel. It’s understandable, like yeah the way the webtoon delivered the message might be ambiguous at the start of the story, but assuming things (which affected the perspective of other readers when they viewed a story) is not a good thing too.