Hold the phone...

So basically his father used to abuse him both physically and psychologically, both by feeding him eggs “to make him manlier” and beating him up for refusing to do so (most likely for other things too). As a result he looks for pain as a way to manage/cope you could say. He likes to punish himself, as shown with him purposely dropping the egg on the floor, and being choked while fucking with a random guy. The mc sees other main black haired guy as a someone who could rescue him, whether it be from his habits or his trauma I’m not too sure

Thank you so much! So I wasn't so far off. I just read comments saying that the MC had really fucked up & something about suicide so I thought I missed something.