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This is NOT BDSM!

MaskedChild December 16, 2020 9:15 am

This series is not BDSM. BDSM is done with willing participants. There is a contract that explains what the dom is and isn't allowed to do to their sub. Everything is written done and agreed to by sober contracter and contractee. The common misconception being, the dom is the contracter, when in fact, it is the sub asking to have the doms time, and deciding what they can and can't do. This guy was drugged, lied to, and taken advantage of in the first fucking chapter. That makes the other party his attacker, and makes this kid a victim. Nothing the older man does after this could lead to forgiveness. I was a subject of molestation, and this violent violation is not something that would be forgettable. There would be massive trauma, the relationships with others would no longer be safe, and sex would now become terrifying. Rapists are not Doms. Rapists don't care about you. And rapists don't fucking deserve a fucking forgiveness story arc.

So in conclusion, don't call this BDSM, call it what it is, rape. Call the attacker what he is, a rapist. Thank you.

Responses
    Meeru December 16, 2020 9:18 am

    Finally someone said it!!

    X-xToleratedx-X December 16, 2020 12:10 pm

    There is a tag that literally says 'rape'. I don't think anyone ever claimed this as BDSM...

    MaskedChild December 16, 2020 12:43 pm

    The amount of tags for this that include BDSM in comments is high, and while it is not in the main tags, it is still being brought up. The reason I said thus is to clarify to the people like myself, who thought this was going to be a BDSM comic based on the tied hand, and the part of the title that says kinky. Anyone looking at the title, and the art would make the same mistake. There are also people who believe that this is how BDSM starts, so this is educational for them should they read it. So yeah, I am going to mention it.

    MaskedChild December 16, 2020 12:46 pm

    And, there are 600 more BDSM tags than the rape ones, so it seemed necessary. Also, when you are just starting the series, not many people look that far down to the comment tags.

    X-xToleratedx-X December 16, 2020 1:14 pm

    Well, they should. I always look at tags and the description, so I can prepare myself for possible triggers. But as you said: from the first chapter it was clear what kind of manga this was going to be, so why did you stick around for 39 chapters more? Especially since you say you have been a victim of molestation yourself, I can't imagine you wanting to put yourself through that.

    Meeru December 17, 2020 5:03 am
    Well, they should. I always look at tags and the description, so I can prepare myself for possible triggers. But as you said: from the first chapter it was clear what kind of manga this was going to be, so why ... X-xToleratedx-X

    This isn’t my place to say this but I can’t control myself after reading the last part. Aren’t you being insensitive by saying sth like this? Pls be more sensible about what you say. Pls Don’t get offended by what I said. Maybe you don’t realise it but what you said sounds so insensitive

    X-xToleratedx-X December 17, 2020 8:29 am
    This isn’t my place to say this but I can’t control myself after reading the last part. Aren’t you being insensitive by saying sth like this? Pls be more sensible about what you say. Pls Don’t get offe... Meeru

    I'm sorry if that's the case, I wasn't trying to come across as insensitive. I was only asking this person why they are reading this manga when it is clearly triggering bad memories for them.

    MaskedChild December 17, 2020 8:43 am

    And, I actually did stop reading at the first chapter, because it did affect me. I never said I read this whole thing. And, this whole thing was to bring info to the table, because this shouldn't be tagged as BDSM at all. That continues people thinking bad about that community. Nothing is said was wrong, or bad. There is no reason I should not be allowed to call out the things that mislead the readers to thinking this was going to be BDSM, only to get a face full of rape. The title, the cover art, and the fact that tags put on by us aren't put with the actual tags leads to people becoming put into this without knowing. Saying they should scroll that far down, instead of putting the userbased tags farther up kinda allows this to keep happening. This was rape, and there wasn't anything between the cover and the start on chapter 1 button to indicate it was present. That continues the problem. And,most people don't scroll down, because before you even get to the userbased tags, you see a small part of the comment section, which could ruin the story. I'm saying this should change, so people like myself, who are very against rape and/ or triggered by it, don't have to accidentally into it. This is not wrong to say, and I won't be shamed for saying it.

    X-xToleratedx-X December 17, 2020 9:22 am

    I never said it's wrong of you to say it, so don't worry. Actually, the top comment in this story is saying that they hate the story, because they don't think it's BDSM play either, but it's filled with humiliation. I think reading the top comment (which usually describes the story without spoilers) and the tags are incredibly helpful to help you figure out if you're going to like the story. I highly recommend doing that from now on. Also the tags that are directly under the cover (Yaoi, Smut, etc.) show another one that says 'Psychological', which for me is often a warning sign that it's going to get quite a bit twisted. Those are just some things to help you figure out what kind of story you're going to read. Just for future notice, give it a try! You may find it helpful.

    X-xToleratedx-X December 17, 2020 9:24 am
    I never said it's wrong of you to say it, so don't worry. Actually, the top comment in this story is saying that they hate the story, because they don't think it's BDSM play either, but it's filled with humilia... X-xToleratedx-X

    I meant 'genre's', that are beneath the cover.

    MaskedChild December 17, 2020 9:36 am

    I get that. I just really wish that they were either closer to the top, or that the manga had a trigger warning. I have read many yaoi manga and overlooked some of the rapey stuff before, so I can read plot and development, but I do think this one plays at being something it isn't, and it was very misleading. So, I just wanted to stand up for a community I understand, while also acknowledging that this was misleading. I will be looking at actual userbased tags from now one, to make sure.

    X-xToleratedx-X December 17, 2020 10:08 am

    I don't really understand how it was misleading, though. Because you saw the BDSM tag, so you must have also seen the rape tag. The tags rape, drugged, blackmail and psychological painted for me a pretty good picture that this was going to be 100% non consensual. How come you noticed the BDSM tag, but missed the rape one?

    MaskedChild December 17, 2020 12:19 pm

    I saw the tags after reading the fucking thing! I didn't read the tags before, I read the genres! And funny thing, the psychological genre could literally mean anything suspenseful. It doesn't immediately mean fucking rape! I went back and read the tags after reading the first chapter. Do you literally have nothing else to do but give me fucking flak about a post stating that this isn't BDSM and is rape? I'm so fucking confused right now. Why are you trying to corner me? What do you fucking want dude!? I said it was misleading first and foremost by title and cover. The genre of physiological covers a broad range of things, and the manga itself doesn't offer a trigger warning. Please fucking explain how those things are not misleading. Never once thought I would need to justify clicking on a title and not thinking there was rape in it, when nothing indicates that, and instead indicates BDSM, which is something I enjoy reading. Explain how no one ever would make that mistake to me! The person who did! Jeez! Your saying you aren't trying to be insensitive, then push this fucking line of questioning for some sick satisfaction of me losing my mind over explaining shit I already fucking explained! I am done.

    X-xToleratedx-X December 17, 2020 3:21 pm

    I wasn't insensitive, your temper is just incredibly bad. But if you want, I can say what I really think, that's going to be REALLY insensitive: you're an idiot for blindly reading a manga without even bothering to check literally anything that describes the story. You're also way too upset over this one manga. You stopped reading after the first chapter and then come back 39 chapters later just to post this comment? Ever considered that other people reading this may feel judged by you, that you're judging their taste? You're not just pointing out that this is rape instead of BDSM, you're trying to make people feel bad about it. It doesn't work like that. You could have prepared yourself and you didn't. Don't just rely on trigger warnings in a manga. Read the damn description, the genres, the tags and the comments so you will never have to complain about a manga again and spare others the sight of the only dumbass in the comments who didn't know this had rape included. I have nothing more to say to you.

    MaskedChild December 18, 2020 12:33 am

    I could spend all day re-explaining what I already have, but I'm done wasting that kind of time. You wanted to piss me off, and you did. But, funny thing is, I'm not an idiot, or a dumbass. I don't shame people for what they like, as rape play is a thing. There was absolutely nothing wrong with saying that this isn't BDSM, and again, I'm not going to be shamed for saying as much. So, bye.