I just get so frustrated with the 'married under false pretenses' plots. Yeah, so you both think you didn't get married for 'love', but you got married, didn't you? You're committing to spending the rest of your life (or maybe a fixed time) with them because YOU love them, aren't you? So why are you keeping distance between you? Shouldn't you be trying to seduce them and do your darndest to make them love you back now that you are married?
So they are being nice and making you feel loved, but you don't think they really do so you're afraid to say you do and get rejected. Who says it has to be an all or nothing confession. There are ways to be loving without committing to saying, "I love you'. Casual comments like, "I'm glad we got married," and "Spending the rest of my life with you is looking better and better," would go a long way toward laying positive groundwork and give the other an opportunity to give you feedback.
I mean, seriously, if you committed to marriage because you love them, it's stupid not to commit yourself TO the marriage and share that love. Do you really think you'll be happy keeping a professional distance from someone you love for the duration of the marriage? If the answer is no, then don't shut it down before it can start. It's up to you to plant the seeds and do your best to grow the relationship, not cower in the corner, run and hide or hold pity parties.
I just get so frustrated with the 'married under false pretenses' plots. Yeah, so you both think you didn't get married for 'love', but you got married, didn't you? You're committing to spending the rest of your life (or maybe a fixed time) with them because YOU love them, aren't you? So why are you keeping distance between you? Shouldn't you be trying to seduce them and do your darndest to make them love you back now that you are married?
So they are being nice and making you feel loved, but you don't think they really do so you're afraid to say you do and get rejected. Who says it has to be an all or nothing confession. There are ways to be loving without committing to saying, "I love you'. Casual comments like, "I'm glad we got married," and "Spending the rest of my life with you is looking better and better," would go a long way toward laying positive groundwork and give the other an opportunity to give you feedback.
I mean, seriously, if you committed to marriage because you love them, it's stupid not to commit yourself TO the marriage and share that love. Do you really think you'll be happy keeping a professional distance from someone you love for the duration of the marriage? If the answer is no, then don't shut it down before it can start. It's up to you to plant the seeds and do your best to grow the relationship, not cower in the corner, run and hide or hold pity parties.