Responses
Thank u for explaining thissss. The person I was arguing said non con play was disgusting under any circumstances, which neglects cases such as these.
AGREED! Btw thankyou for explaining this to people who are small minded ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶
I was perusing through the comment section browsing through all the discourse and I found someone who mentioned CNC play (Consensual non consent). For those who don’t know what that is, it’s a kink/sexual with practice where two CONSENTING ADULTS, on PRE DISCUSSED AND AGREEED TERMS, simulate r*ape. Now got some of you who have absolutely no idea why anyone would ever do this other than for some sick fantasy would be hells confused. Isn’t r*pe wrong? The crime yes— CNC? No. And here’s why.
CNC is probably one of the most misunderstood kink practices in my knowledge. There’s a lot of misconceptions about who participates in it and why they do so I’d like to offer you all— who care enough to read some insight from some of my own research and conversations with people who participate within CNC. So I’ll start here:
Why is CNC different from regular ass assault?
Like every safe scene, CNC heavily relies on consent. Everything about the scene from start to finish is meticulously planned, scripted and co-ordinated. Here consent prior to the scene is extremely important, these people (those who practice safely and ethically) usually have some of the best understandings of consent that your regular joe out walking about town. Consent prior is extremely important because words like “no” “stop” or fighting are disregarded and instead specific physical safe words are used to slow, pause or completely end the scene. Now with every kink, there is an aspect of danger, so being safe and well informed is the priority. Now you know a little about how it works let’s talk about why it exists and who participates.
Why CNC?
I could sit here and say people like it bc it’s some sick fantasy. But that isn’t quite the truth. The reality is that there’s a lot of people who participate within it and some groups you might find surprising— which groups you may ask? SA/r*pe survivors. That sounds weird right? Why would anyone relive or simulate something traumatic. Well here’s some reasons, often times these people people participate within CNC as a form of therapy, doing this by their own terms takes away the power that their past or future abusers may have. It helps soften the emotional and physical bite of the trauma and might help future victims feel less afraid when it happens. On the other side of the spectrum we have people who participate because they like the total exchange of power, perhaps preferring a rougher more extreme version of TPE (total power exchange).
What can we take away from this?
CNC is built on consent, it’s the whole and only reason it can work safely. Consent between adults who are fully aware of what they plan to do. It’s okay if you don’t like CNC or don’t see the appeal, you don’t need to accept any kink but it’s also important to be well informed and make educated judgments on accurate information, often times (but not all the time) we admonish things we have very little or inaccurate understanding of. I hope someone learns something or whatever. I’ll try not to pull up again with another long ass essay but I do find the discourse here v interesting.