can't sexuality be fluid though? i don't disagree with your other statements, and narratives that say "i'm not gay but..." are troubling, but sexuality is definitely something that can change over time (for some). it's not discovering what your "true" or "real" orientation is, it just can shift more to one side or the other. sexual fluidity does tend to be more common in biological women as well.
i just feel that the whole thing about liking someone because they're that person isn't such a bad thing to say :)
You are right regarding that sexuality can be fluid but thats really only true regarding those who like multiple genders. What makes it an issue is for those who are strictly homosexual and how this narrative can be used to say its a choice. When the LGBT community has been fighting so long about how they can't change how they were born it can actually harm the agenda which is why it bothers me so much. And on the other point I agree with its not wrong to like someone because they're who they are but for the most part this trope is used to condemn homosexuals. "I'm not gay but I like you" really undermines what its like to be LGBT and leans more fetishy to me. What they could've done instead that included a similar message is by stating how the character is either on the bi spectrum or how "out of everyone in the world i chose to be with you" signaling how they either already have that preference or how they came to know about there preference through that person. Again the work feels like I'm looking through rose colored glasses on the characters which when depicting someone who is LGBT and does have to struggle to find out who they are it can be troubling.
Its been a over a year since I've read this manga and now I got a lot of comments under the post I made. Some of my opinions have changed while others stand strong so I figured I'd make a new post talking about why I think this manga is bad representation and how it harms the LGBT movement.
First let's talk plot.
One of the things that rubbed me the wrong way that I couldn't articulate in my earlier comment was this "fairytale" characterization of the cast. The antagonist was very one dimensionally manipulative and how in the end she ended up being jealous of their relationship came off more like a "and we all clapped" at the end when our main couple left her crying only to go home and have intercourse. The villain was flat and the protagonist couple felt the same way.
The nonbinary character was easily the worst in the whole manga. They had no character other than getting mad at others for misgendering/mistaking their sexual orientation. The expectation for someone to a automatically know your gender can only lead to upset feelings and set up false expectations for the young audience who will read this. Overall the character was just bland and a cardboard cut out that could be replaced with any other character.
Now let's talk about the dysphoria issue
What I wasn't able to put into words in my review when I first read this was why the dysphoria in the manga didn't work and I need to touch on that. Makoto our main character was born male and was described as wanting to present female. However they didn't feel any sort of discomfort with their male body. The problem is with this type of description the interpretation of their identity could fall a multitude of ways. Makoto could easily be described as a cross dresser, mtf trans, or what was depicted in the manga bigender/gender fluid. Another think to note on going through and re-reading it a couple of times their use of pronouns for the character where either never depicted or used as he/him (even by the nonbinary character). And the idea of how their partner had all the answers on Makoto's gender depicted their emotions as simple and a "duh" moment like it is so obvious what they are when in reality finding your identity can be uncomfortable and complicated. People often go through many different labels before landing on the one that fits them best and to make it seem so simple doesn't show how difficult it can be.
The other issues
No we are not done. Upon rereading the manga i hate how they describe sexuality and say "I love xxx because they are xxx not because of their gender" and how thats how our couple describes their sexuallity throughout the entire manga. Sexuality is not something that can be changed and you are born liking whatever gender(s) no matter your gender identity so the way they describe it is equivalent to the way you see homosexual couples in yaoi as well. The narrative of "oh I'm not gay I just like xxx for xxx" is such a cop out and could've made the narrative for the story so much better.
Also the name of the manga being my girlfriend is a crossdresser doesnt help with representation.
In conclusion
Overall the manga has flat characters, inconsistent identities, and a romanticized view on gender and sexuality. If we want good representation in our media we shouldn't be afraid to call out the bad or mediocre. This manga is by no means the worst, however their is nothing exceptional or narratively interesting about it besides the notion that it talks about gender and sexuality. It was a 4/10 at best. All right ive talked enough
If you guys want better examples and representation imma leave a list.
http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/yuureitou/
http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/umareru_seibetsu_wo_machigaeta/
http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/bokura_no_hentai/
http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/shimanami_tasogare/
http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/hourou_musuko/
http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/is_otoko_demo_onna_demo_nai_sei/