OMG THISSSDSS
D- damn
Well said about Jaeha. I still don't get all the hate about Jaeha. Jaeha is one of my favorite chars of all manhwas because he's pretty close to being realistic. His thoughts and actions are results of the way he grew up with all the social pressure and personal issues.
OMG YEEEESSSS! THIS! THANK YOU so much! I feel like crying when I read this. I've always felt this way about this manga. Eunho's toxic behaviour is TERRIBLE! This kind of shaming and using sex as punishment is the WORST! I HATE it! I freaking hate it! I think this hit me even harder than it usually does because it felt so realistic, and I still had some kind of hope for him. I think one reason why this upsets me so is because it IS a real world problem. Men have always used sex and sexuality as a way of controlling, shaming, breaking and punishing women. And it's always women, and in this case the one taking "the woman's role" that is shamed the most.
What Eunho did is not okay. Using sex as punishment is NEVER okay. It doesn't matter that you are angry and hurt! He also threatened and blackmailed Jaeha. That must have hurt so much considering his previous trauma. Honestly, I think I can handle violence. At least then it's pretty clear it's wrong. But what I really can't stand is this sort of humiliation and oppressive mental abuse, as in "you deserve this".
Seriously, what Jaeha did wasn't good. But it's still his right to break up if he want to. Considering Jaeha's abusive childhood, toxic first love and all other shit that he's had to endure in his life I'm surprised he isn't more messed up. And while he did end up hurting Eunho that wasn't his intention. He was trying to protect Eunho in his own way (even if went about it in the wrong way). I think that is the difference between the two. Eunho tried to hurt Jaeha is much as he could, in the worst way possible, just because he was angry and resentful.
Seeing all these comments rooting for Eunho as if he's some kind of innocent, wronged angel, while hating on Jeaha as if he's the devil himself honestly hurts me. So thank you again for writing this comment! I really needed this. I felt so alone thinking I was the only one feeling this way. And I felt so bad for Jaeha, going through all that but people still believe that the one who sexually harasses him is in the right.
Also, I uhhh... wrote another comment referring a quote to you since I thought it was very well written. I hope that was okay? (⊙…⊙ )
XD I'm honestly flattered that you would refer to me, so no problem!
And I'm happy some other commenters understand! To me, the main difference between Jaeha's hurtful actions and Eunho's is the intentions behind them - Jaeha isn't perfect and ultimately felt that breaking up with Eunho would save him from a worse ending, while Eunho was aware of Jaeha's issues and mental instability and STILL kicked the man while he was down. I understand being resentful but becoming abusive because of a bad breakup is the essence of pettiness.
I'm not trying to paint either of them out as the ultimate villain because the story is obviously about two people broken in their own way, but reading some of these comments, about 'Eunho forgiving Jaeha' or 'Jaeha doesn't deserve Eunho', you'd think they missed the last half of the story. Even if Jaeha is the 'reason' for Eunho becoming cynical and cruel, that doesn't give him an excuse to act that way --- I feel like some of them miss the hypocrisy of implying that Eunho's actions are excusable because of what Jaeha did to him, but Jaeha went through abuse and various trauma and isn't allowed any mercy (maybe because Enho's is direct "revenge" and Jaeha's affects innocent bystanders or something)? Literally the common theme of these two is "acting shitty because of past experiences", except in this parallel Eunho 'experienced' less and acted worse. Jaeha's biggest crime is that he goes into relationships that hurt the other person emotionally (marries a woman while gay/bi(?) but THINKS he loves her at least, has casual sex with a man that he knows is in love with him even though he's emotionally unavailable, does the same thing with Eunho except he to reciprocate and actually gave him hope before breaking it off): Eunho got back into a relationship with the intention to punish the other person (sexually/physically and emotionally). Again, I don't even hate Eunho because his character is interesting and the development is complex, but cmon
I love how most readers hate Jaeha and paint Eunho as this angelic being that got fucked over and is too good for him - as if Eunho didn't come back second season to harass him, shame him, and intentionally make sex painful. Yes, Jaeha's character is the farthest thing from perfect and healthy and he's self-destructive, hurting the people around him because he fears getting hurt himself. The man needs a therapist for his depression and trauma in general. No one that falls in love with him is going to have an amazing time of it. He broke Eunho's heart. He didnt even attempt to salvage his marriage. He was in a sex relationship with someone he knew was in love with him. He was selfish. His mother also abandoned him with a drunk, abusive father, who also eventually abandoned him for being what he was. His first love also fucked him over, and his past haunted him even into his marriage with his wife. He's stuck in a cycle of pessimism and he thinks him being unhappy is a undeniable conclusion because he's not good enough for people to actually love and accept his baggage and insecurities. He takes sleeping pills to rest at night. His lover's parents were the closest thing he had to actual parents, and he felt guilt for bringing their son into his cycle of unhappiness. His lover's sister begged him to leave Eunho alone. So he left him cruelly, cut almost all ties, but of course he still liked him so he continued to wear the ring and he didn't change the name of his shop because he's human. So Eunho is now disillusioned by being dragged around by an older lover that cruelly dumped him, he tracks him down when he finds evidence that this cruel ex of his is still attached. He meets him, obviously notices that he's not even mentally stable, but instead of doing the healthy thing and walking away (in the case that he doesnt intend to have an actual healthy discourse), he wants to punish him further. He hears Jaeha talk about how he was pathetically still attached after cruelly dumping him, hears him say while half weeping into his hands that "he doesnt deserve to regret", knows that the man is dependent on pills to sleep at night, is told "I'll do whatever you want" which shows the man isnt even hanging on to his self respect, but he decides the best thing to do is A) punish him for leaving and B) make him realize that he 'can't escape' through sex lmfao. So he initiated sex at his workplace, shames him for actually being willing to do it, when they do have sex, he refuses to use protection or lube, is told it hurts, keeps going bc why tf not, shames him for having a dildo, etc etc etc - basically the same type of toxic shit that happens in other yaoi but I guess its acceptable because he got his heart broken? He used to be innocent, Jaeha acted like trash and ruined that innocence, so Eunho comes back and does this shit, but I see comments like "yeaaaah cruel Eunho. Jaeha doesnt deserve nice treatment" or "cruel Eunho is cool" . i disliked Jaeha too for what he did to Eunho, and Eunho deserved better even if Jaeha's issues could be explained by his experiences. Honestly, I wanted Eunho, the ex wife, the lover to all move on while Jaeha dealt with his issues. After all, theyre not obligated to stay and endure his self-destructiveness. But thats not what happened.
I honestly think the story is beautiful, and there are realistic moments, people understandably dislike Jaeha, but Im amazed at how few people saw an issue with Eunho's actions. Im not really even trying to hate on Eunho exactly because the sex, though fucked up, was consensual, and their relationship and what happened is between him and Jaeha, but its kinda irksome for the naysayers of Jaeha to complain about his issues and preach about Eunho's awesome personality and forgiveness or whatever.
But then again, when I reread this, I skimmed, so Im probably wrong about something or other. I might just be annoyed that Jaeha gets so much hate without acknowledgement of the shit he had to go through.